stigg wrote:Well I don't just mean in dollar terms, but general career success. I mean if you're a young women who has the potential to be a leader, a Fortune 500 CEO, a top scholar/researcher, etc. maybe it wouldn't be great to get married. (The finances stuff was just mentioned because I often read that marriage benefits women financially).
Patriarch Verlch wrote:stigg wrote:Well I don't just mean in dollar terms, but general career success. I mean if you're a young women who has the potential to be a leader, a Fortune 500 CEO, a top scholar/researcher, etc. maybe it wouldn't be great to get married. (The finances stuff was just mentioned because I often read that marriage benefits women financially).
Successful women never marrey down, always up. Not only does the divorce rate improve when said woman is successful, potential for divorce increases when women are educated.
This is why successful men marry down, the maid, the secretary. Somebody that will let them be the man of the house, and not argue with them night and day about hard to follow arguments.
The problem lies with the sexual revolution, womens ability to attract unlimited sexual partners without the bounds of marriage. This drives down mens willingness to stay and father children, as a womans chastity is the corner stone of marriage. A man doesn't want, or need, or psychologically need, to be 1. a sperm donor whose only contribution to his exit from the family is monetary 2. Raising another sperm donors children, unbeknownced to him.
Women are able to get knocked up, then they look for the man responsible and get a court order to confiscate his wages, if they are so lucky. Then the tax payer, which subsidises 700,000 out of wedlock children a year, is forced to pay for another one.
Remember 85% of criminals in prison, come from broken homes, where it is predominantly single mother households.
Feminism, womans empowerment, has done nothing but use women to destroy traditional America. The Patriarchy. Look around the world and find me one matriarchy that is a success. Haiti is a good place to start looking. Women are sexually liberated, having children from several different men, and there isn't a man on the island inspired to care for them. The government has no money to be able to enforce child support.
doncalypso wrote:
I resent the use of my country as an example the consequences of feminism gone haywire.
If there are lots of out-of-wedlock children in Haiti it's because my country is comprised of 90%+ illiterate and uneducated people who know little to nothing about birth control.
Even in cases where people have children out of wedlock the parents tend to stay together and make the family unit work. If single-family homes are becoming more common now it's most likely due to the negative side-effects of the Americanization of Haitian culture and because in traditional Haitian culture pretty much expects men to have extramarital affairs.
To get back to the main subject at hand, though, I would say that success in marriage isn't based on whether people "marry up" or "marry down" but on whether they share common core values (monogamy, parenting style, etc). Education also plays a role, but you could have two people of comparable education level be totally incompatible because they have incompatible core values whereas a couple with a great mismatch in education level could be perfect for each other because of the shared core values.
When women "marry up" they may end up with a guy who makes good money, but that doesn't necessarily mean he has all the necessary values, character traits, and habits that will make him into a good husband. Maybe what successful women need to do is not focus on whether a man makes comparable money to them on a yearly basis or whether he has a comparable education level (i.e. a woman with a PhD shouldn't look down on a guy who only has a bachelor's degree or a master's degree), but on whether their core values are identical and conducive to a fulfilling long-term relationship.
I think one reason men used to "marry down" was not so much out of compatibility but because they wanted to make sure they had a woman who'd be dependent on them and that they could control. While this may have prevented women from seeking divorce I strongly doubt this arrangement made for stable marriages.
As for nagging, that vile trait can be found in any woman ranging from the Fortune 500 executive to the "lowly" secretary or manual laborer. And on the same token, the corporate woman who's Anita the Hun in the office can be a very sweet loving wife to her husband at home if she has a great attitude (i.e. if she is what Doc Love would call a Flexible Giver).
Remember, bad women come in all shapes, sizes, and education levels... all you need to do is find that one good one that will make you happy for 50+ years of marriage until one of you kicks the bucket.
If she has a conscious, she can help him become more successful than her, then get independent of the workforce by inspiring her man to become the official breadwinner, while she enjoys the life of a lady, does hobbies, plants a vineyard, sow, and goes shopping with her girlfriends. Rough life.
Hremom wrote:If she has a conscious, she can help him become more successful than her, then get independent of the workforce by inspiring her man to become the official breadwinner, while she enjoys the life of a lady, does hobbies, plants a vineyard, sow, and goes shopping with her girlfriends. Rough life.
You have an odd idea of what a stay at home wife and mother does. As such a woman, let me enlighten you a bit.
My day starts at 6 a.m. getting the kids up and ready for school. Making breakfast, making sure they are dressed appropriately for school, brushing and doing the hair for 3 little girls (braids, pig tails, or sometimes curling it), making lunches, and then getting them off to school. Before I get them up I've already started a load of laundry.
When I get back from taking them to school I do dishes, vacuum and do other household chores. All this is done while keeping an eye on a very active baby. At nap time I get time to get a shower. Once a week before the shower I clean the bathroom..... tub, sink and counter, toliet and mop and clean the mirror. By this time I've usually done a second load of laundry.
Now it's lunchtime for the baby and myself and afterwards I usually start dinner unless I'm making something that doesn't take all day. But usually I'm starting a pot roast, spaghetti sauce or some such that cooks slow and all day as those are the most tasty meals. While dinner is cooking I do another load of laundry, mop the kitchen and play with baby. Once a month I do take an afternoon to do any repairs to clothing. Once a week I do the ironing, encluding table linens. Twice a month I go grocery shopping and my Mom gets the school girls when they get home.
After school I help the girls with homework. Then they go play with their friends for a couple hours before dinner while baby gets a nap. This is my break. I can get on the internet, call a friend, write emails or a letter to those relatives who don't have email, make my grocery list or pay bills while I enjoy listening to the afternoon noons or sometimes a talk show.
At 530 p.m. it's time to get the kids home and washed up for dinner. They set the table while I get the food out of pots and pans and into serving dishes and on the table by 6 p.m. After dinner the girls take turns bathing and helping me with dishes. They are in bed by 8, 930 and 9 respectively.
My day still isn't over. Hubby works nights so I need to pack his "lunch" and if he is traveling this week I will need to pack his cooler of home cooked snack and reheatable meals. He packs his own suitcase. I feed the pets, vacuum again and then, if I'm lucky, enjoy an hour or two of reading, watching tv or working on a blanket I'm crocheting.
Add into all this that I do things like volenteer at school three days a week. Go to PTA meetings. Organize and prepare for dinner parties for Hubbies co-workers. Make goodies for school (no, I don't send store bought stuff.) and help my elderly aunt and mother who both live next door to me.
Where is this life of liesure you seem to invision? Lunch with my girlfriends? Shopping with them? I haven't done that in years!! My working friends have more free time than I do because they hire baby sitters and a once a week housekeeper.
As you've heard me say 85% of all divorces are initiated by women.
Hremom wrote:As you've heard me say 85% of all divorces are initiated by women.
I'd like to know where you get this stat from. From watching people over my lifetime I would say that men and women are equally responsable for leaving marriages. Some times the woman leaves, some times the man.
According to [Brinig 2000], women currently file slightly more than two-thirds of divorce cases in the US. There is some variation among states, and the numbers have also varied over time, with about 60% of filings by women in most of the 19th century, and over 70% by women in some states just after no-fault divorce was introduced, according to the paper.
A 2005 Census Bureau Report found that in 2002, $40 billion had been paid in support arrangements by 7.8 million payers, 84% of whom were men
Hremom wrote: Even so, often men and women walked away from their families without ever divorcing.
In Titus 2:3-5 the apostle Paul charges the older women in the church to teach the younger women "to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."
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