That’s tough, when someone you’re supposed to trust lies to you about something so serious. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he was having regular contact with this woman without your knowledge. He flat out said that they NEVER met up, and that she was just a “friend.” However, you found out later with some detective skills and questioning of your husband that he had been lying for quite some time. Now you don’t know what to do or how to fix it, and you don’t have the financial means to get professional help.
According to Dr. Haltzman himself, “divorce doesn't have to be in the cards for every relationship who has experienced an affair. These marriages can be saved, and on a personal level, that can turn a family from disaster to stability. Moreover, saving marriages reduces the costs to the community by reducing poverty, improving health, and leading to longer and happier lives of married individuals.”
For you, you need to figure out a way to forgive and forget. This may be difficult and time consuming, but it can be done. Dr. Scott said that, “These marriages can be saved, and on a personal level, that can turn a family from disaster to stability.” If you take advice from friends and family, or even call a psychologists office to ask questions this can help you learn how to move on from this situation and make your family whole again.
I think what will help you out greatly is to make sure he doesn’t stay in contact with this specific woman. Tell him that you want to know the females he is talking to and that would make you more comfortable. If he won’t budge and wants this woman to still be in his life than you must sit down and have a nice woman to woman chat with her. Explain to her that you love your husband very much and that you are not making it so they cannot be in contact, but so that she knows it needs to strictly be a friendship and nothing more. I really hope I helped and that you can move on and work on this with your husband. I hope you both can rekindle your passionate love for each other.