So what do you do as an alternative?

[Inexperienced guy]

I have pretty much resolved to the fact the wife is not going to change as far as wanting me\sex. 2-3 times per month is going to be it and I'm not going to change that. She won't even talk about it. Now, I don't want to leave as I'm not in a position where I want to start my whole life all over. The idea of being single and having to find a woman as a mate and THEN she also has to enjoy sex just seems impossible.

So...

...how do you cope? I've talked with a few other folks online in my position and some of them were women with low libidio husbands. They said they just found other things to occupy their time. Like what? I mean, will pottery replace an orgasm? Will volunterring at church replace giving oral? I don't mean to be crude or a smartass but I don't get it?

Do folks with low libido spouses...Cheat? Masturbate ALOT? Take something to reduce their drive? What do you do?

I tried visitng some other message boards and all I read is women who brag about how many times a day they do it and men who talk about what animals their wives are with wanting to watch porn, surprise them with sexual favors, etc.

Yeah, thats the LAST thing I want to hear.

At what point can a late 30s guy like myself just expect to not want it anymore? Seriously, I wish I could donate my libido or my ability to still get rock hard erections to some poor guy who is having to take Viagra to keep up with his wife as my biological ability to perform is definitely going to waste as the only one who appreciates it is my left hand.

[Jonah]

There are all sorts of ways to work around a sexless marriage. I talked about some of them in the other thread. Like I said there, go to this website and talk to people, see how they are coping with it. You'd be surprised how inventive people can be.

http://p080.ezboard.com/fsexlessmarriagefrm2

[cheapshades]

I am not recomending doing this but I will just state what I do normally. I just ignore her and deprive her of her emotional needs as she is doing with my physical ones. (This isn't the right response to the situation, its just what I do)

[ThunderHorse]

Dear Inexperienced Guy,

It is important for prostate health for a man to climax most every day. Particularly if you smoke are have other toxic intake. Like maybe breathing city air, or drinking city water.

I have coital sex with my wife less often than I desire.

You can study your wife a little more.

What time is she most receptive in the day? My wife is receptive as she is going to sleep for the night, or resting to take a nap during the day, watching some TV show.

There is the 14th day after her period ends, when she is in heat.

There are cycles in waking up where your wife may be receptive to sensual contact. What time to you try for sex? What time does your wife go to sleep, on what nights? What range of times? What time do you go to sleep and wake up? How could you change your sleep pattern on some nights, to better match her sensual recptivity?

I have a 7 Inch portable DVD, that I put by the bed, and watch whatever porn I want. I have a laptop in the bedroom that plays DVD's. My wife has a cycle of being willing to watch more erotic videos, depending on how ling since we last watche what level of erroticism. Do you have a selction of various levels of erotic, and less erotic DVD's?

How will your wife acquiesse to your masturbating with contact with her? I can hold my wife's pubic mound, regardless of her mood, and masurbate myself.

My wife enjoys vaseline and light contact with her clitoris. I can dry-hump if I have gotten my wife hot enough. Does your wife rejct your shaft on her calf muslces? Muy wife seems to enjoy my tip on the soles of her feet, with oil. Can you afford Neutragina Body Oil? Better lasting power than baby oil. Do you keep an extra clean mattress pad handy? Squirt enough oil an her, something will happen. How long do you usually suckle before giving up?

What is your wife's rejection time cycle? After I get pushed away, or other wise rejected, I can restrart fresh with my wife after 3 minutes. My wife has a short attention span. Most women it takes 5 to 7 minutes of no contact to get a fresh start.

Do you have the book on sensual pressurepoints for a woman's body?

Thread on Alternativfe Sex
http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/phpB ... light=#988

Do you understand the 5 gears describe in the Secrets Book? Hers is a link describing the 5 steps of seduction briefly:
http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/phpB ... light=#965


I try to clamax with my woman, and not masturbate to porn by myslef. I save my squirting to be shared wtih my wife. I try to bring her up to teh highest level of excitemetn I can reasonalby accomplish, and then I work on climaxing my load, at whatever stage she might be in the most inimate manner, I can. I have seen in porn, and my wife accepts that I contact my tip with her butt muscles, on one side or the other. I spread my semen aver her but when I finish. Research show that the Semen has a positive effect on happiness of the woman. There a joy chemical in the Semen that is absorbed throught the skin. Maybe that is why the Bible suggests not spilling your semen on the ground. Contact with semen brings joy to the woman. How can yhou creatively apply Semen to your woman's skin?

But you are not describing the rejection you get when attempting alternative sexual approaches. What rejections do you anticipate? What have your experienced? What has been your response to your wife's rejections? What steps have you tried to get to the next gear? What works sometimes? What almost never works? What else could you try?

As I get more excited, my wife is more recetive to some sort of particpatory contact.

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