Need help with my story

Need help with my story

Postby Wantstodie » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:06 am

My wife and I got married young 22 and 23 we've had sex less than 20 times in past 9years. She's controlling, immature, and manipulative on an unconscious level. Hence the immaturity.
I've always made the money and she can't handle talking about anything without getting emotional to the level of a panic attack. She's obsessed with Harry potter to the point she acts like a teenager when anything is mentioned about it on television. She doesn't want children and hates kids and pregnant women. She's slapped me away and been angry with me everytime I've initiated sex besides the 20 times we've had it. When we have had sex she has 20 orgasms and really loves it but I do all the work. She won't give blow jobs and is grossed out by semen.
I finally had enough due to stressful events in my career and I couldn't take this anymore so we are now in therapy together and individually which is costing $2000 a month. My therapist wants me to leave her and is encouraging me to meet someone else for sex. We do get along ok and we enjoy movies and baseball but its just not enough for me.
When I brought up all the problems to her we decided she would go to her mothers for a while and she cried and cried and held her blanket and stuffed animal and it destroyed me that I made her so upset. She is reactive and has physically hit me infront of my friends. She knows this is a problem and acts so afraid of me leaving her that it makes me feel guilty to bring up any problems. I want her to have nicer things as I make more money but she feels so undeserving of them she just dresses like a teenage boy when we go out on normal outings.
The biggest problem for me is I don't think I could ever have sex with her again, even if she wanted it. I can't afford to get divorced because I'd owe her so much. I'm stuck in this, sexualyl frustrated which makes dealing with day to day life difficult. Does anyone else have these feelings? What the fuck is wrong with her and are most women like this?
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:38 am

Re: Need help with my story

Postby ThunderHorse » Mon Mar 23, 2015 1:56 pm

You do not mention your listening skills and challenges. Are there things you have asked your wife not to talk about? Are there things that you find it difficult not to disagree with, when listening to your wife's ideas? My wife did nutty things, until I learned to let her vent for at least 15 minutes a day.

There are threads on listening to women. Under Communications, "Listening strategies for men." There are also threads on compliments for women. There are two chapters on listening in SECRETS OF HAPPILY MARRIED MEN book.

I have had a marriage therapist that recommended my wife and I get divorced. Still married years later What are your goals for marriage counseling?

Many couples do not have children, and many practice family planning. You do not mention precautions you might take to give your wife confidence that participating in your climax can be safely performed. You have mentioned a few options. I personally have a vasectomy, so I don't get rejected on pregnancy issues.

My wife accepts my advances for a while, but sometimes rejects my advances, after a while, because I have failed to get her sufficiently aroused, but I just try again another day, or later. You do not mention how long you wait for re-approach. Most women will build up desire, after the first rejection, and accept a second advance, for some period of time. There are stages of approach. Sometimes I have to retreat back to a more beginning stage.

You may want to brush up on your massage and foreplay techniques. Search erotic acupressure.

Why do you say it is difficult for you to envision loving your wife?

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