im 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend doesnt want sex, (its been 2 months) i would have thought he would love the fact we dont need to worry about contraception. i have asked him about it but he just says "he doesnt feel like it bacause im pregnant"
are there any guys who felt the same way with their pregnant wife/girlfriend? i would love to hear the other side
we still hug and hold hands but its hard being turned down for sex when i feel like the only way i can be close is through sex, and he pushes me away.
pregnant and no sex
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pregnant and no sex
by magic » Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:04 am
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by happy in PA » Wed Oct 17, 2007 12:32 am
From this male's perspective, I don't understand your boyfriend. I have always thought a pregnant woman was very desiriable. My wife and I were active as long as the doctor said it was okay. Of curse in those days active for us wasn't all that active, but that would be a thread for another post.
Not every guy feels the way I did. Good Luck.
Happy in PA
Not every guy feels the way I did. Good Luck.
Happy in PA
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by SouthernGuy » Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:14 pm
I can understand how your guy might be feeling. I have two kids of my own (both teenagers now) but I remember what it was like, especially with the first one.
It was a BIG surprise to me when my son was born! I knew he was there for those nine months, but I really didn't understand what that meant until I saw him. You have been living with your baby for seven months now -- the morning sickness, the cravings, the heartburn, the pressing on your bladder. To you, the baby is real; to your boyfriend, the little one is still just an idea, a concept. He hasn't been 'living with' the baby, he has been observing you being pregnant. He doesn't really know what it means to be a father, and he won't for about two more months.
You say you are seven months pregnant, and the sex stopped at about five months. That would be about when you started really showing, and the baby began visibly moving around. You may have even excitedly told him to put his hand on your tummy and feel it kick!
Guess what? That's when he figured out there really was another living being not more than five inches away from his hand, that far from him. There's another person there -- for real!
So now you want your guy to get intimate with you and place another, more sensitive and private part of his anatomy just a few centimeters away from that human being. You want him to do something personal and private with the baby *right there*. The same personal, private, and intimate thing that from about your kid's age of five to fifteen will make you lock your door so that the two of you won't die of embarrassment by having your son or daughter walk in and see (or hear) you 'do it'.
You may say to yourself, "But the baby doesn't know what's going on! The baby is unaware; he doesn't really feel anything different from me walking around all day; she doesn't have the brain power to understand what sex is." Doesn't matter. That's not what your guy is thinking; that's not how he's feeling.
And by seven months, he's also probably thinking that if he pushes too hard, he can cause your water to break. Don't laugh! It may seem unlikely, but in his mind it could happen! I thought that way!
I have a solution for you, and I hope it works.
First, accept the fact that your boyfriend is not rejecting you. He still loves you and he still desires you, but his psychology is all screwed up. Second, appreciate the fact (and if you are religious, even praise God for it) that you have such a wonderful and sensitive guy because he is already loving and caring about his child, and forming a fatherly attachment to it, even though in his mind the baby is still just an 'it' -- an intellectual proposition. (A caveman boyfriend would think, "Who cares about the kid? I want sex!")
So I would ask you to take the lead and be sensitive for his sake, and realize he needs your support and encouragement right now. When you get in bed -- and he's probably turned away from you, right? -- rub his back. Touch him where he likes to be touched. Do the things that give him pleasure first without worrying about if you will get pleasure in return. (He's done that for you in the past, hasn't he?)
And when he's turned on, encourage him -- gently -- to give it a try. If you are seven months, then side-by-side is probably the best approach anyway. That may also help, because some guys are turned off by the large stomach of a pregnant woman. (Sorry! It's true.)
Keep it slow and comfortable. If he wants to stop, let him; and check periodically to make sure he is still okay with it. He will probably nervously ask at least once if he is hurting you!
And the last piece of good news: as I recall with my wife, at seven months your sexual excitement and pleasure may take alot less coaxing than at normal times. So some slow, gently nudging may be one of your most pleasant sexual memories for years to come, if you can convince him to give it a try.
Hope this helps,
It was a BIG surprise to me when my son was born! I knew he was there for those nine months, but I really didn't understand what that meant until I saw him. You have been living with your baby for seven months now -- the morning sickness, the cravings, the heartburn, the pressing on your bladder. To you, the baby is real; to your boyfriend, the little one is still just an idea, a concept. He hasn't been 'living with' the baby, he has been observing you being pregnant. He doesn't really know what it means to be a father, and he won't for about two more months.
You say you are seven months pregnant, and the sex stopped at about five months. That would be about when you started really showing, and the baby began visibly moving around. You may have even excitedly told him to put his hand on your tummy and feel it kick!
Guess what? That's when he figured out there really was another living being not more than five inches away from his hand, that far from him. There's another person there -- for real!
So now you want your guy to get intimate with you and place another, more sensitive and private part of his anatomy just a few centimeters away from that human being. You want him to do something personal and private with the baby *right there*. The same personal, private, and intimate thing that from about your kid's age of five to fifteen will make you lock your door so that the two of you won't die of embarrassment by having your son or daughter walk in and see (or hear) you 'do it'.
You may say to yourself, "But the baby doesn't know what's going on! The baby is unaware; he doesn't really feel anything different from me walking around all day; she doesn't have the brain power to understand what sex is." Doesn't matter. That's not what your guy is thinking; that's not how he's feeling.
And by seven months, he's also probably thinking that if he pushes too hard, he can cause your water to break. Don't laugh! It may seem unlikely, but in his mind it could happen! I thought that way!
I have a solution for you, and I hope it works.
First, accept the fact that your boyfriend is not rejecting you. He still loves you and he still desires you, but his psychology is all screwed up. Second, appreciate the fact (and if you are religious, even praise God for it) that you have such a wonderful and sensitive guy because he is already loving and caring about his child, and forming a fatherly attachment to it, even though in his mind the baby is still just an 'it' -- an intellectual proposition. (A caveman boyfriend would think, "Who cares about the kid? I want sex!")
So I would ask you to take the lead and be sensitive for his sake, and realize he needs your support and encouragement right now. When you get in bed -- and he's probably turned away from you, right? -- rub his back. Touch him where he likes to be touched. Do the things that give him pleasure first without worrying about if you will get pleasure in return. (He's done that for you in the past, hasn't he?)
And when he's turned on, encourage him -- gently -- to give it a try. If you are seven months, then side-by-side is probably the best approach anyway. That may also help, because some guys are turned off by the large stomach of a pregnant woman. (Sorry! It's true.)
Keep it slow and comfortable. If he wants to stop, let him; and check periodically to make sure he is still okay with it. He will probably nervously ask at least once if he is hurting you!
And the last piece of good news: as I recall with my wife, at seven months your sexual excitement and pleasure may take alot less coaxing than at normal times. So some slow, gently nudging may be one of your most pleasant sexual memories for years to come, if you can convince him to give it a try.
Hope this helps,
- SouthernGuy
by brendya » Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:37 am
How early can a pregnancy test be positive?
I want to know from you guys personal experience how early you got a positive and what brands you used. I could possibly be 3w3d preggers right now and have taken 3 pregnancy test with negative results (only 1 of those pregnancy test was for early detection).
I want to know from you guys personal experience how early you got a positive and what brands you used. I could possibly be 3w3d preggers right now and have taken 3 pregnancy test with negative results (only 1 of those pregnancy test was for early detection).
- brendya
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- Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 5:55 am
by moc » Mon May 04, 2009 12:07 pm
SouthernGuy: nice reply and to magic I second his remarks. However, I was more in tune with the way happy in PA was...I was very sexually excited with my wife pregnant. I don't understand your boyfriend with his regards but can better that SouthernGuy explained it. Unfortunately it may take a bit of coaxing on your part when we only know a little bit about your boyfriend. I am sure he is a wonderful guy, that he may need that reassurance but, I hope that he is also taking care of you outside of intimacy also.
magic: my wife has been very tuned into her body but we have always used EPT.
magic: my wife has been very tuned into her body but we have always used EPT.
- moc
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- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:22 pm
by gillasey » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:03 am
What are the causes of a miscarriage during pregnancy? It's something I'm asking more out of curiosity then anything else, even though it's not something nice to think about. I've heard that miscarriages are likely within the first 3 months, or it there chances later on during pregnancy as well?
What are things that women ought avoid doing during pregnancy that may cause a miscarriage? What would happen if there's a miscarriage?
What are things that women ought avoid doing during pregnancy that may cause a miscarriage? What would happen if there's a miscarriage?
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- Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:33 am
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