fiancee is leaving me

fiancee is leaving me

Postby kiji talons » Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:39 am

so i am 27 and was going out with the same girl for just over 4 years, engaged for about a year, and planned on getting married in april. my fiancee broke the news to me two days ago that she loves me, but no longer wanted to get married. at first she brought up the idea of counseling, but the next day she changed her mind saying that she didn't want to have to change me. she said i emotionally was not there for her and emotionally did not make her feel better. she loved me but she said she did not have faith that i could make her happy. i tried to get her to work it out and talked to her for hours but it was to no avail. i even used stuff i learned from this book which i read in less than a day and it didn't help. she is moving out. should i keep in contact with her and talk to her on a regular basis or should i give her her space for awhile. how do i get her to believe in me again when she firmly believes i cannot be there for her emotionally and doesn't want to try and work things out because she doesn't want to give me false hope.
kiji talons
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Postby karenann » Mon Aug 04, 2008 7:28 am

If she is not interested in working on the relationship, the only thing you can do is work on yourself. Just be her friend and start showing her that you can give to her emotionally and that can lead to happiness for both of you. She may start responding to your changes. I have to say that she at least had the strength to face the issues now and hopefully she will have the strength to go the distance with you. If not, you will have stenghthened yourself for your next relationship.
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Re: fiancee is leaving me

Postby MrMarriedMan » Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:13 pm

Hi, after reading your problem it seems evident that the feelings aren't mutual between you and your loved one as of now. For some strange reason her feelings have completely altered in just a short amount of time and something must have triggered her to feel this way. Have you seen a drastic change in her attitude or compassion towards you lately? Was there a fight where harmful words were said? This may seem harsh but have you considered the fact that she may be unfaithful to you. Has there been any signs of that?

Though it may seem like a depressing situation at the moment this good be a better thing for both of you in the long run. My professor, Dr. Ski stated that space between two people will make the heart grow fonder. If she she really has feeling's for you then the space apart should make her realize all of the good you have brought to her life.

There is not much you can do in your situation. Its easy for me to say but the best thing to do is to give her space. If it is meant to be then she will eventually end up back in your arms. Give her time to realize what she has lost and if her feelings are mutual then she would make the effort to put you back in her life. Lastly you should not cut off all ties of communication because you guys are obviously very close but you should keep restricted and very minimum.
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