No sex may mean divorce for me soon

[JeffAtl]

My wife and I have never been sexually compatible in my opinion. Neither gets what the other wants in bed (although in my single days I always aimed to please). I think we're at a standoff. Additionally,and a big part of the reason for this is I'm not physically attractive to her. She has gotten out of shape and health is not a priority to her. I'm thinking after 6 years with her that this can't be fixed (ok, fixed is the wrong word, but you know what I mean). A couple issues on my end include a lack of a career and being on anti-depressants for over a year (mostly due to career woes), which makes me not want sex as much anyway. But we now have it less than once a month after being married only 3 years, and that has gone on for well over a year now.

So I am starting to consider divorce. I will be 40 this year, and if I'm going to have a family, it needs to happen before I'm too old. Also, I'd like it to be with a woman I'm physically attracted to AND have more in common than we do,which is next to nothing.

Has anyone else gone through this?

[ThunderHorse]

I bought some Fat women XXX DVD's. 600 pounds can be sexy.

Any way you can start cutting back on the anti-depressants? Open the capsules and mix with a soda, in a capped bottle, so you can regulate exactly what you take?

You need a job for some self-pride. You are not going to feel any woman is sexy, if you don't feel self-confident in yourself.

It would be an unusual woman that did not give you a sideways glance, to remind you that you are short on manhood, (Job). YOu have not identified what your wife could be doing to make your job search better.

You have not said what you have done this week to get a job, nore what you plan to do next week.

Your prostate should be exercised 5 times a week. How can progress be made?


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[JeffAtl]

Are you serious? Hard to tell from your reply.

Yes, I have almost cut out the antidepressants.

Yes, the pressure is on for me to get a job, but my wife also believes in me more than I believe in myself and thinks I can make my failing business work. I have my doubts.

I am applying for many jobs weekly. It has gotten to the point to where I have to lie on my resume to get people to call me (too much job hopping due to making poor decisions on who to work for).

Prostate exercised 5 times a week. Thats funny.

[ThunderHorse]

The DVD is Loretta Sterling's Life in the Fat Lane, Search Filmco, Fat DVD section, top of Page 4. 600 Ponds is from memory, she might be 650. She is the biggest of all the other light weight fatsos.

There are studies that show that men who exercise their prostrate 5 or more times a week, have less incidence of cancer of the prostrate..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3072021.stm

Print the article out for your wife.

What are you missing in your business? What would make it go?

I have learned more about myself over the years, and realize that the bookeeping of a business involved is tedious for me, and I procrastinate. Maybe I could have succeeded in busines if I had gone in with a naturally good bookeeper.

Shading resumes to cover over short jobs is a common practice. Do you have a consultant to help you? Do you belong to the Rotary Club? Where can you stir up some connections? Did you ever take the Dale Carnegie Course? What professional organizations can you join? It is more about who you can get along with, and be productive with, who can trust you, etc.

Applying for many jobs may be the best idea, but speinding some time to get the connections to get a job may also be worth a little time or effort.
Some community colleges offer cheap courses, just ot meet the right people.

Get a starting job with the government, andy level. Once you establish a work history, you can move up.

Kids can be a headache. If you have a kid now, you are going to be 70 years old, and putting the kid through college. Then they can't get a job, or get divorced, and move back home. Unless you plan to be real lucky with kids, I would leave the $500,000.00 investmet as wishful thinking. Volunteer in a tutoring program to help some kids in school.


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[femaleview]

Jeff, I don't know if you still visit this forum, but I wanted to share my view on this with you. And I will not tell you to buy movies with women who weigh 300lbs. Because that's stupid. But here is my story:

My husband was a soldier who served in Iraq and he came back with major depression. We were a great loving couple before he left, usual problems, minor fights, a lot of good sex and very much in love.

He got back, was without work and on Antidepressants - sounds a little bit familiar, doesn't it? I was what you would call very good looking, tall, blonde, skinny with big boobs. Why is that important? I'll tell you in a second.

My husband's depression got worse and worse, he became aggressive towards me and started blaming me for everything in his life that went wrong. I loved him very much, and I tried whatever I could to make things work, while he got nastier every day. I was trying to help him and I forgot about myself. I gained 50 pounds, and I didn't really care much about myself or the way I looked. I was so emotionally drained that looks were the last things on my mind. I was fighting to save my marriage and help my husband and I ended up fighting myself. Of course we stopped having sex. My husband was so nasty at times that it was difficult for me to even be in the same room with him, not a big surprise that sex was not big on my list. I never gave up on him, he finally started working again, and we started doing a lot better financially. Still, his attitude towards me never changed for the better.

It has been 5 years and guess what? A week ago my husband told me
that he wants a divorce, because we're not having enough sex. Here I am, thinking I went through hell to help him and all he can think is that I am not giving it up frequently enough. What would make me want to have sex with him, when he keeps calling me fat (I am 5"9, so 170lbs is not necessarily obese and I still look good, although I feel bad), has the nastiest attitude and is always trying to bring me down mentally. I have stayed with him, because I meant what I said when I promised to stick around in good or bad times. And I was hoping that loving him could help him to recover from his depression.

I am done fighting, and I have decided that I will focus on taking care of myself again and rebuild my own life.

I have seen the similarities in our stories, and I thought I should share this with you. You said that you think that you and your wife were sexually incompatible from the beginning, which was not the case in my marriage. I don't know if that's true or if it's just something you are using as an excuse.

Think about it: If your wife has never stopped believing in you, don't you owe her the same? Why don't you turn around and just tell her that you believe in her the way she believes in you. I would give my all to hear my husband say that to me. Sometimes we're lost and we don't see our blessings. When was the last time you looked at your wife as your blessing?

I don't know where you are in your life right now. If you are still married, maybe it's time to focus on making your wife feel good about herself. Show her that she was right to believe in you. Don't be a waste of time. Plenty of sex will follow, trust me.

Women DO NOT want less sex than men. They just want to be appreciated for who they are and what they do. And you'll have plenty of fun in the bedroom.

[sandy22]

In my case we are a old couple Im 56 years ols and ours problems are bigger everyday
I dont think that sex is the most important on the relation, I have ED problems thats why I decided to looking for pills but for her it was the worst thing ever I dont know why
I wasn't my intention
now I sleep in other room and I feel very bad about this situation

[ickyrawlings]

Sex is apparently one of the many reasons for divorce, so you're not alone in that respect. Although I do believe that physical appearance and intimacy is not necessary the foundations of a marriage, they are just as important in a relationship so you have merit in your argument. I do suggest that you need to lay off from the drugs, as well as get back on track with your professional career. However, after you've done all of these and you still feel the same, here are some divorce information for you. Just to inform you that divorce is a right and you need to do what's best for you before you and your partner engage in a fruitless and loveless marriage.

[ThunderHorse]

In my case we are a old couple Im 56 years ols and ours problems are bigger everyday
I dont think that sex is the most important on the relation, I have ED problems thats why I decided to looking for pills but for her it was the worst thing ever I dont know why
I wasn't my intention
now I sleep in other room and I feel very bad about this situation

Ever tried porn or a butt plug?

Why do you sleep in a separate room?

Most of my sleeping time with my wife is not about sex or foreplay, it is just enjoying each other with soft love. Is that a technical term Soft Love? The adds on TV make hardening pills sound like the real answer.

There is no way for your wife to climax? No way for you to help or particiapte?

Have you exhasted all the adult toys available?

Pre-conceived notions of roles and rituals may benefit from some counseling. What have you tried, and what has been her repsonse? I often have to approach my wife two or four times with something that we have not done before, until she is in a mood to try someting unusal.



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