Eating me Alive. Need some advice.

[eznate07]

so my wife is a dancer for her college. The last 2 semesters she has grown close with a couple of new friends. The attention factor has been an ongoing rollercoaster swarming about our household. I believed that sometimes her conversations with her friends were more important than family time do to her consistently interrupting family functions to go have 30 min.-1hr. long conversations with her friends. Sometimes it seems like they were so important that leaving the dinner table to answer the phone or an almighty text message, which by the way is the rudest thing to do, was seemingly more important than sitting down at the only time our family is really gathered during the day to catch up with one another. Her college aquantances are the strange type. I really think all the people personally that join for dance are a class of individuals all their own. They have some sort of code or something they carry amongst themselves only known by them. Being strange and weird by all means basically. The only few things that have been bothering me are that the few events that unfolded wothout myself being included. first was the beach trio they took with one another. I have myself to blame but I actually wanted to be the first along with my wife to spend the night in an luxurious beachfront hotel. Kinda one of those first experiences that you'd expect to have with your significant other. No matter. I guess it's something that we'll have to plan later on in life. Her flirtation level that I know with one particular individual has been a bother throughout it all, I know it's unbeknowest to her unless someone actually puts it in front of the woman on a plate. Her attention to things like this are non intentional but sometimes bothersome and embarrassing. I know it's like fighting for attention in a manner of small belittling cumbersome ways. I know forever that I'm the man that she married and she'll always love me, but I guess I feel like I ran into a small amount of competition for myself. Her new jock friend at the college is a good person. But what I don't think my wife really realizes is that how much she's invited herself into a open door of flirtation that to those who don't know the situation would think is an invitation to other things, that of which my closest buddies have already noticed and talked to me privately about. I've noticed a couple of things here and there that of which I know if the situation was vice versa with her she would've already been outspoken and a rather bothered by it. She doesn't mean any harm by the ffliting but I feel that it's a little much for a woman that's married at times here and there.
I don't really know how to approach her about all of this without it escalating into some sort of arguement that could turn worse.
Please give me some sound advice to the subject in question.

[ThunderHorse]

Chapter 6, of Mens Secrets is EXPECT CONFLICT AND DEAL WITH IT.

You seem to need to increase your personal power. There are a number of books to increase you personal power. I am reading Suzette Elgin, 2000.

Another aspec is that you are being abused by your wife, so you need to get a better grip.

Chapter 7 is learn to listen. How are your listening skills? How is your ration of compliments to criticsm? What have you let your wife know you appreciat about her?

It does not wound like you have taken aparenting colurse together recently. Have you searche E-Bay for DVD's on parenting? If my wife and I got closer on our goals for hte kids, it improved our relationship.

Are you unintentionally rewarding this behavior? Is your wife trying to ge back at you for something?

Rewards: Arguing, Silence, pleading, feeling uncomfortable, and she know it. Do you know the secret of the Boring Baroque Response? Silly, yet respectful and loving gibberish? Suzette Elgine, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO ME, 8 steps.




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