by Scott Haltzman » Sun Dec 07, 2008 7:51 am
In my experience, making recommendations to improve the relationship are best done in the context of assuring your wife that you have her interests in mind. Now...you might say "That is my intent," which I believe it is. But if your wife doesn't see it that way, then she's likely to think that you're looking out for your own needs, and not hers.
I give you credit for being able to have these discussions with her. Lots of couples feel too uncomfortable to even talk about these things. That's a good sign.
In these cases, it's best to sit down and ASK (don't tell, don't suggest) what she's like. If it's no toys then, for now, it's no toys. Over time, as she sees that you are putting her interests first, you may find that she's more open to the discussion later on.
BTW, some of my patients say that they enjoy browsing adult stores, even if they don't buy, it can be arousing. ALSO, women now have sex toy parties (like tupperware parties). She may be able to join in one of those.
S.H.
Please remember that these comments are not representative of advice or medical service or recommendations, but are offered by Scott Haltzman as points of discussion and observation.[/i]