Hi All
I'm 34 and in a long term relationship, coming up to 11 years now.
Where to start? My partner and myself now live with little passion in our lives, my partner these days shows little warmth towards me and all passion even simple touches are rare these days, apart from a light kiss in our greetings and a quick hug (twice a day) and my telling her I love her, it is rare for her to show anything other than that. Our love life is now down to a few times a year which when it does happen is really wonderful and passion filled but I have noticed most offen happens after a bottle or two of wine where her inabitions are lowered.
A few years back my partner sourced help with issuses of her growing up and her parents messy breakup when she was ten, she seemed to move forward after two years of weekly help, her crying stopped at least. But her passion all but died I felt, We both have moved to the country, have lost weight and our health has increased from our prior city live, she has her horses and her dogs, I look after the gardens and develop the property in my spare time. I have worked hard to make sure the place looks nice as this is important to her (moreso than me) and I enjoy the work. I have even gone from a ave body type to a fit muscle bound body type, she is also looking great (which I often tell her) but I never have heard anything in return.
I asked my partner why she now no longer wears dresses or more feminine clothes, everything is either plain business like for work or plain t-shirt and pants for home, she even stopped wearing party dresses to the formal end of year xmas parties, I hate to say this but I have often thought she dresses like stereotypical butch lesbian. I have offered to hold the shopping bags while she shops her heart out, but I have no take up of the offer (she also knows I hate shopping of any kind). I always tell her shes beautiful and looks great, I wolf whistle when she gets ready for work and generally try to make sure she knows I find her attractive and that i'm attracted to her. I never get anything in return.
My biggest down fall is my hate of house work and as we both can work long hours it often needs to be done on the weekend and I see this as time better spent working outside on the property, I have offered many times to employ someone to help with this but she does not want to do that, but feels we should both do our share inside, when that is finished I go to work outside mowing lawns, weeding etc.. while she relaxes or goes horse riding. I have in the past made a real effort with the above and done far more than my share and worked my fingers to the bone, but after much effort over quite a long time I felt I got little to nothing in return.
Now deep down i'm getting bitter and thinking of my next move, I am afraid that effort and my passion towards her is wasted and I would be better moving on and starting again with someone who has less baggage.
But I do love my partner, that is why i'm looking for a little guidance or advice.