by first year » Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:32 pm
newatthis - we're pretty much in the same boat. Everything you wrote pretty much resembles my marriage, after only 9 months. How are things working out? Not only are we not intimate, but it's because my wifes looks at me more as a friend. She doesn't want to be in a relationship where the passions gone, where her feelings are luke warm to me, and has considered leaving me.
Have you done anything to change the situation, have things gotten better? My wife's biggest complaint is that the passions gone. When we're on the subway, or eating dinner and she looks across the way and sees a couple really 'into each other', she gets jealous because thats what she wants.
She's told me that I'm a great husband, i do everything that should make her be in love with me, but she isn't. I look at our sex lives which is pretty much non-existent and I think if I can satisfy her sexually, she'll have that passion for me again, the same time of passion that we see in other couples. If I'm doing everything else right, but not sexually satisfying her, could this be the our 'passion' problem? If I ignite her sexually, will this save my marriage?
frustratedasalways and sadwife
I'm sorry for you two, and I hope things are better. I wish you two could talk to my wife because I do everything that you two say you want and need to feel loved, except i often am rejected when I make advances to her. And these advances don't start in the bedroom, they start with a nice quiet dinner out, a nice sunset stroll outside, but once we get to the bedroom, lights are out and it's over. nothing. she's too full from dinner. she's too tired.
For those of you who have been through the 'ups and downs', how long do these downs last for? We've been together for 3.5 years, married 9 months and for the first year we were on cloud 9, and since then, we've been going down, and it seems like we keep going down. my wife has thought about leaving, but is willing to 'work on our marriage'. I don't know what that means. For anyone who has been in these downward spirals, i'd love to hear what you have to say.
thanks