I NEED ADVICE ON A TABOO SUBECT....PLEASE

[lost74]

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE HAD A BORING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP LATELY AND I FOUND HIM LOOKING AT PORN THE OTHER DAY AND WELL LATER I WENT BACK ON LOOKING AT PORN TOO AND IT REALLY HAS MADE ME VERY EXCITED IN A WAY I HAVENT FELT IN AWHILE...WELL I SAW THIS ONE VIDEO THAT REALLY TURNED ME ON IN A WEIRD WAY I THINK BECAUSE IT WAS TWO GUYS AND A GIRL AND I REALLY LIKED WATCHING THE TWO GUYS...ALOT. SO MUCH I WAS THINKING OF TRYING THIS BUT I DONT KNOW. IS THIS CROSSING THE LINE OF WHAT YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY ACT ON AS A FANTACY. HELP!!! IM SCARED TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS BUT ...WHAT IF HE WOULD LIKE IT I DONT KNOW. PLZ GUYS OFFER SOME ADVICE

[socialdistortion]

Very interesting dilemma. It sounds like exposure to this taboo situation has you sexually intrigue. This is definitely normal to want something you can’t have, but I would definitely not recommend acting on it. Do you really want to bring a third person into your marriage? It will become part of the history of you forever! Instead, why don’t you try to use this inertia to rekindle your sexual relationship with your husband?

Even Haltzman says it is ok to fantasize about others during sex with your spouse, as long as you ‘return for the moment’. As I am sure he is the only person in the free world that would follow the latter part of his advice, I suggest you use your new fantasy to create a more passionate intimate relationship with your spouse.

Your own private sexual thoughts and desire will hurt no one. Acting on them could significantly impact your current relationship.

Good luck,

Social Distortion

[ThunderHorse]

Why not watch porn together?


The important thing about a marriage, is that you key for the other spouse's permission, first. Let your husband decide what porn to wathc, and each person have a veto power.

When I feel it is OK to put on some porn, and I am mistaken, and my wife objects, I will shut off the TV and tape immediately, if my wife objects.

Enjoy. I am envious that your husband has a wife who really enjoys porn.



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[ThunderHorse]

Can you ask your husband to watch porn together, as part of your love making foreplay?

[socialdistortion]

Dear Thunderhorse,

Maybe watching porn is NOT such a great idea...

Please read "5 Things To Learn About Love Making from Watching Porn" by Paul Joannides, research psychoanalyst, author of Guide To Getting It On, and a speaker on college campuses.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/you ... aking-porn

Social Distortion

[StarTour]

Hey all!

Yes Lost76 you have a very interesting quandary. One that seems more common to us guys, right?

After some thought, I have to cast my vote with the "don't bring it up" crowd. Fantasies are great to act out with your partner, if they feel comfortable and not threatened. However, try to bring more than your spouse into the equation and it's asking for trouble, and heartache ~ his or possibly even yours.

I think either way it's a loose/loose:

What if he's not into it? It could be hurtful to him as he might begin to wonder if he is not enough for you. Now he's worrying.

What if he's into it? What if after a while he decides he's more into guys than you?. What if after you "enlighten" him he decides to meet other guys without you being around. Are you ready for that?

Role play. Dress Up. Tie up. What ever. But, you'll never regret keeping it just between you two.

[ThunderHorse]

Dear Thunderhorse,

Maybe watching porn is NOT such a great idea...

Please read "5 Things To Learn About Love Making from Watching Porn" by Paul Joannides, research psychoanalyst, author of Guide To Getting It On, and a speaker on college campuses.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/you ... aking-porn

Social Distortion

Thank you for the reference. The criticisms of Porn offered in the Psychology Today article seem to be valid criticisms, but are not a comprehensive evaluation of the totality of the merits, and problems. of Porn, for each individual, or each couple, or other Love configurations.

Therapists should probably hold back suggesting Porn for their clients, until the chances of adverse ramifications have been evaluated to seem to be minimal.

On some forums some women feel that porn has been part of a cycle that exposed them to abuse. Porn can be an emotionally charged issue.

Even without emotional connections, there is a strong undercurrent of public purity, that creates the impression that only wierdos enjoy porn. A large number of Men may enjoy and view porn, but deny that the enjoy or view porn, as a matter of privacy. Women may know their men enjoy porn, but also keep their knowledge secret, so other women cannot rely on their female friends, to let them understand the realities of porn.

It is good to use caution with porn. I enjoy porn with my wife, when she seems to be in a tolerant mood.



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