HELP ME PLEASE!! After 12 yearsof marriage, my wife has suddenly withdrawn and told me she wants to leave. We have 2 children, 8 and 12 years of age. I know we both love them unconditionally, but she has suddenly fell out of love with me!
She explained to me that over the last 6 of our 12 year marriage that she has lost all of her love for me. She feels that it would be best if she moved out and wants me to share a lawyer with her to get a divorce. I know that I grew comfortable in our marriage and have not made her feel special in a long time. My love for her has never changed, but she has lost all of her feelings for me. I am crushed and scared.
My wife has always been a scocial butterfly. She enjoys spending long nights having beers and conversation with our friends. As our children have grown and my ocupation become more demanding, I have slowly stopped going out with her to spend quality time with my kids and hobbies. This NEVER slowed her down. I trusted her with all my heart and I knew everyone she was with. Over the last year, alot has changed. She lost a very good 12 year career, began recieving unemployment, going out to bars with her new single girlfriends, and stopped asking me to go with her. Her unemployment ran out, our fianances have crashed, and she met another man. She told me that they are just friends, but that they had kissed once. She promised me that it was a mistake and that absolutely nothing else sexually happened between them. She told me that they agreed to keep their relationship as friends only, but does not understand why I get so upset that they still talk.
Her family supports me and she remains at home. She is very cold. She explains to me that she has lost all of her feelings for me. I tell her daily that I love her and she does not reply. I try to touch her and she pulls away. She explains to me that she doesn't see me like she use to. I give her gifts and try to do nice things for her. This only upsets her more. She tells me that these actions are after the fact. That they are meaningless to her now that I know how she feels. She refuses t go to counsling and her mom is helping me get our fianances straightened out.
She has since started a new part time job and remains in the home. She says that she is only doing her job. Going to work and being a mom. She explains that her family told her that if she leaves me that they will dis-own her. So, she will continue to stay home like a robot.
I want her to be happy. I want her to love me and let me show her how much I love her. What can I do? The more I try, the more she pushes away. I feel like I failed her! Help me reach her before its too late...for my sake and the sake of my collapsing family.
Thank you for your help!!!