Wife's Doctor visits

[Docg]

Ok ladies, slaughter me for this, BUT I have to ask.

My wife of 34 years which I love more now than ever, has always confided with me before going for her exams. She only goes though about every 5 years.

This time she hid it and used a different excuse. She lied to me like never before. She did'nt tell me because I tease her about it.

Here is my thing. We have sex more than the average. Almost daily. Yet as I get into the later years, I find my desires more but my physical self less.

Ready to kill me? One of my fantasies which I have discussed with her many times and she flat out refuses to discuss, is to share her with others. Yes I want her to have sex with other men and women. My Reasoning? I want to see her pleasure. I want her to receive the best because she deserves it. I can give her the love she needs but not the sex she deserves.

Well I see her in my mind and I know it is not sexual, lying naked on a bed, legs up and open giving her good looking female doctor a very intimate view and being touched by her.

Sick I know but that is my thoughts.

When she got pregnant for our first child, Her then male doctor allowed me to go in with her for her exam. Yes it excited me to watch him check her but truthfully I saw first hand there was no intimacy there but still, another man doing that to her?

Anyway, her not telling me really upsets me that makes me think now she hiding something from me.

[ThunderHorse]

One of my fantasies which I have discussed with her many times and she flat out refuses to discuss, is to share her with others. Yes I want her to have sex with other men and women. My Reasoning? I want to see her pleasure. I want her to receive the best because she deserves it. I can give her the love she needs but not the sex she deserves.

The needs/desires fo wmen may be diferent from the desires of men.

Wanting your wife to experience sexual pleasure from others, does not reflect the possiblity that the desires of a woman, may be more for Security and comfort, rather than for sexual extravaganzas.

Wives often make comments to husbands that would indicate that sexual fufillment is an important desire. With what phrases can you offer to listen further, without engaging in argument, debate, disagreement or ignoring?

Your wife may just want you to listen to her venting, and give her the love you have, that signals security to her.

Encouraging sex with others might denegrate a husband's self-confidence, and may reduce the feelings of security that your wife may desire from you.


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[socialdistortion]

Dear Docg,

Wait. Hold on. You are upset at your wife because she went to her female doctor and did not share this experience with you? What is wrong with that? You tease her about it? What is that? It sounds like you classify this experience as an intimate experience between her and her attractive female doctor. Trust me this is probably the last thing she is thinking during these exams. I get that you have sexual fantasies about sharing her with someone else but it sounds like she does not share those fantasies.
You say you want her to have ‘the sex she deserves’, as if it is a fundamental right to get pleasured from others in the presence of your spouse? This really sounds like your fantasy and less like hers. In fact, her refusal to discuss this should be a flashing neon sign to you that she is not interested in entertaining this fantasy. Haltzman says “Discussion about sexual issues should come from a place of love and a wish for maximizing the sexual experience for both of you”. Your own sexual fantasies are harmless and a good way to keep yourself amused, but these fantasies and the reality of acting them out are completely different.

Best,

Social Distortion