by Silversterling25 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:24 pm
Hey parrothead,
Before I begin, I just want to make sure I understand this correctly. You've found out that your wife is having an affair with another a high school friend, and through your multiple attempts to have her from contact him back you were not successful. You also said you've made attempts to work things out on all levels, Correct? The idea that you’re willing to try is a very big attempt.
In Dr Scott's novels on Relationships and affairs, he states that it is in the best decision of the couple to sit down and first admit that there was an affair going on and that she truly wants to be with you. If I'm correct, your wife has already done this for you so we will skip this step. Next is to sit down with her and compose a Facebook message, email, and text message. Something you both can see. She will the type “I am here with my Husband, and from this point on I do not want any contact with you or will ever want contact with you. Do NOT contact me anymore." This step is key, because now she has to let you know anytime he messages her back or contacts her. To keep an eye on this, and to keep her truly honest, ask her for ALL of her passwords to her email, Facebook you name it. From there you two can work on what you need to.
This would help you greatly since you've already made attempts in the past to help keep your marriage between you and your wife. You have already asked her if she could stop contact with the high school friend and with that, you are willing to make things work. Follow Dr Scotts advice and sit down with her to see if the marriage between you two is what you guys really want. Talking it out really gets things solved, but only when there is no more contact with the other person who had the affair.
My advice to you, after you have one more talk with your wife about if the marriage is what you both truly want and she continues to talk to the guy. Plan for marriage counseling. I am a firm believer in pursuing something without giving up and if you both truly want this to work, it will happen. Make her feel like she is wanted by you, my best wishes.
-Silversterling25