I never thought there would be a day where I would be writing something like this, but I am at a loss and don't know what to do. I have been with my husband for 7 years, we just got married in September. I opened up his Ipad and he had been looking at porn, which is a whole other issue besides the one I am writing about today. What concerns me more is that I found emails between him and a woman (I didn't know the name). They were planning to meet up at a gas station, and he said things like he was "excited" and would "take whatever time I can get." When I asked him about it at first he said he didn't know a woman named XXXX, then when I told him I had read the emails, he said it was a woman whose son he gave baseball lessons to 3-4 years ago. I asked why they were going to meet up and he claims it was just to catch up. He also claims they only ever talked briefly after the kid's lessons, so I am having a really hard time understanding why they would need to catch up after 4 years. They are both married and she has kids, this just doesn't add up. He said it was a "lapse in judgment." I also discovered he had another email account that she had emailed him on. (I had no idea this account existed, he said it was for work....but then why did she have that email?) And now he is saying he thinks he needs more friends. I just don't understand why he would need to connect with an older woman whom he supposedly barely knows. I emailed her and she claims she has "known" him for a very long time and they are just friends.
I want to believe him, and I start to when I talk to him. But then I turn around and all of these new questions just keep popping in my head. I am starting to feel crazy. How can I really come to a conclusion about whether this was innocent or not?