Opinion please

[Amithatstupid]

My wife and I have been married for seven years. I'll admit our sex life has been going downhill for sometime. Work, taking her for granted etc. well recently, because of work we were apart for five months. When we finally did reconnect I found out she had had an affair while we were apart. I confronted her and (to her credit) she admitted the whole thing. She said because of my inattentiveness she was driven to having the affair. She also swore up and down she loves me and was physically sick knowing how much she had hurt me. I agreed that I haven't been the best husband the last few years, could see how she ended up having an affair and that I love her too and can move past this. That was a month ago. Last week she synced her phone and I ended up with a number of her emails on my phone. Turns out she's having another affair. What's worse is that I went and checked our phone records and it turns out she has been seeing this guy for as long as the first affair - the one I had originally found out about. I confronted her, told her affairs I can understand but to lie to me like that was inexcusable. We have had one counseling session and she knows how I have serious trust issues. I went on line to check our phone bill and now I see she now has it password protected. I'm getting so tired of confronting her, of believing what she says only to find more lies. Im thinking of just pulling the plug on this. Opinion? Am I that stupid?

[dmcclelland]

We went through the same thing almost a month ago, still reeling from it. My wife says the OM is out of the picture, but the smoothness and skill that her deception revealed with lying blew me away. Not at all in character. Been together since age 15, we are now 55. We are doing self counseling with the framework of a program I downloaded. We are both committed to our success. I read a lot about making myself more interesting, too, and found nothing but room for improvement. I have been forcing myself to leave my comfort zone and to go all out for us. Things are getting very exciting now, in every way. We have badly conflicting schedules, and 5 nights a week I get only 4to6 hours of sleep. It is very worth it, to feel the inner glow of being able to be heart to heart again, better than ever. I truly feel for you and I send my blessing.