by ThunderHorse » Thu Mar 07, 2013 7:47 pm
Thanks for your service and scrifice for your country.
One thing you can do whether near or far, is to give your wife 15 mionutes of listening-venting time, every day, or so. There is a Listenitng Strategies for Men thread under the Communications section.
Because you are a hightly principled person, with a strong sense of core values, it will be challenging for you to encourage your wife to discuss all her ideas, particularly those ideas she knows you don't like. Post back the challenges you face. My wife likes to read to me from the Bible. I have figured out how to get along in the society, and I don't need a lecture from the Bible. I feel humiliated that she wants to lecture me. But I follow the rule of 15 miutes, whatever she wants to talk about, or read to me.
What is it your wife likes to talk about that you don't like to hear? When was the last time you took time to initiate a vent session, when you actually had 15 minutes to listen to her? If you are not spending 15 minutes letting her vent, you are inviting her to go talk to somebody else. The Men's secrets book has two chapters on listening.
What do you know about foreplay? I am trying to do better with massage and my finger tips. Give me some pointers on arousal.,
Basically, my suggestion is for you to do better as a lover, yourself. Blow the competition out of the water. Have it so your wife has no interest in talking to other guys.
There are times when things become obious, that you may need to create a quiet moment ot ask for increased fidelity.
My wife is ADD, so I need to have short phrsase to mention occasionally.
How about, "Thanks for letting me know where you have been, because that gives me a feeling that my efforts for the marriage are appreciated, and that trust is expanding. Have you heard anything from your mother lately?" Maybe she is making up a story, and has bgeen making out with another guy, but you can express your ideals of marriage and family, in a non-instrusive manner.
"Your smile sure makes it feel like I am smart to pass by all the other women that cross my path." This means you are being fathful to her. Have you given your wife reason to think you accept, or practice, infidelity?
Work on finding ways to change yourself into a better husband, first, before asking her to change.
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