Extreme Infidelity & Betrayal

Extreme Infidelity & Betrayal

Postby blacksheep99er » Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:14 am

My husband made friends with a Cuban woman who spread evil rumors about me because she is kissing up to his mother so she can get back with my husband's brother who wants nothing to do with her. Cuba dresses provocatively (had plastic surgery everywhere) and shows everything. They meet at my mother-in-laws house where I am not allowed to go cause we don't get along. So it's a perfect place to get together. My husband fixes Sunday dinners for her because Cuba visits his mom several times a week. Mom is 98 yrs old and they say Cuba is her girlfriend. My husband uses the excuse she's my mother's girlfriend and I can't help it if she visits her! I just happen to be there. When I complain, he says "I'm sick of you talking about it, and if you discuss it further, I'm leaving you! I've had it!" My brother in law tells his new girlfriend (who secretly tells me whats going on) that his brother says John my husband are real good friends and they call each other all the time! Now I found out that the brothers are going to buy this woman a expensive pearl necklace for taking such good care of their invalid mother (their sister used to care for her but she recently died). My husband never buys me any gifts for my birthday or for Christmas! Now he is suddenly buying expensive jewelry for this woman?!? I am so ticked off! I don't know what to do. I can't leave him. We've been married 41 years. I'm on mental disability. I had a mental breakdown thanks to his family who abused me all my married life. I have no savings, no job and no family or friends to stay with. My husband does not give me any money because his family hates me and tells him to treat me like trash. They are evil people. But I am a Christian and believe the Lord will deal with them.
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Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2013 1:58 am

Re: Extreme Infidelity & Betrayal

Postby ThunderHorse » Sat Jul 20, 2013 10:44 pm

Dear, Black Sheep,

The "Boring Baroque Response" is important to deal with abuse. See a thread under Communication, entitled "My wife is Hyper Critical, Please Help"

Nagging may not be the best approach to deal with your husband's emotional involvement with the Cuba lady.

Are there any extra things you can do for your husband, that could be a point of then making requests from your husband, to spend less time with Cuba?

The Secrets of wive's book may be helpful:

Table of Contents:
1. Know Your Husband
2. Nurture His Needs - and Yours
3. Fight Better
4. Talk Less
5. Have Lots of Sex
6. Take Charge of Your Own Happiness
7. Heal Thyself

Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:10 pm

Re: Extreme Infidelity & Betrayal

Postby ThunderHorse » Sun Jul 21, 2013 7:21 am

Dear Black Sheep,

There is a book, titled something like "Surviving an Affair". Plan A is to give full cooperation, and ask for a change. Plan B is to withdraw some or all cooperation, until conditions improve.

What can you do extra, to give full cooperation?

What options do you have for women's shelters?

Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:10 pm

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