Driving my wife crazy...

Driving my wife crazy...

Postby gunrunner » Sun Dec 15, 2013 2:08 am

I just found this site and from what I have read has some great advice. Here is my current situation:

I have been married for 11 years. Recently within the past couple of months my wife had a brief torrid affair with a cop here in town. Before that our relationship had been strained at best. I was obsessively checking our phone records to see who she was talking/texting at least 50 times a day. About 3 weeks ago she went to the casino and I saw she was texting another guy. When she got home several hours later I flipped out (which I have been doing a lot of lately) she got undressed for bed and as she did I groped her out of anger, knowledge of texting a guy, and rage. After that incident I have been sleeping on the couch for 3 weeks. She doesn't want me to touch her in any way! She told me a couple of months ago that her ex husband used to rape her, and that what I did was just as bad. I know what I did was beyond wrong! She has told me she loves the man she married but hates the man currently sleeping on our couch.

I know IF our marriage can heal it will take a miracle fom God, I also know it will take time and patience. I was texting and calling her incessantly hence smothering and driving her crazy. I have since stopped that and vowed to myself not to fall back in. After our latest conversation I am not going to touch her, respect her and pray. I should note even though I have been sleeping on the couch I go in and give her a kiss before I go to work every morning she kisses me and says she loves me.

Mixed signals and "I don't know" are driving me crazy

Thanks for any advice!
We are going to counseling I think she is just going through the motions though.
gunrunner
 
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Re: Driving my wife crazy...

Postby ThunderHorse » Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:37 am

You don't mention your listening skills. See under Communications, a thread titled "Listening Strategies for Men". There are two chapters in the Married Men's Secrets book about listening to your wife. Try for 15 minutes a day of letting your wife vent.

See also "Compliments for Wives" under Communications. See if you can make some additions to that thread.
ThunderHorse
 
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