Husband spends long hours on the phone with another woman

Husband spends long hours on the phone with another woman

Postby Estee » Tue Jan 13, 2015 7:07 pm

My husband lied to me about this woman. He calls this woman his bestfriend. This woman works in the same facility my husband works but they work on a different shifts. A year ago, we fought about this woman as I wasnt conmfortable that they were chatting on Facebook and texting each other. After our fight, he promised me that he won't text, call or won't delete her text messages in case she texts him. Just to make me feel better, I blocked this woman's # on my husband phone. Since then we never spoke about her. He always assured me that there's no else but me., he always tells me that he loves me so much he will not cheat on me. He shares all his passwords with me including his phone, he even let me see his phone Or we switch phones sometimes. He always proves me he's not doing anything wrong and he's faithful to me. Until one day as I was checking his phone, I saw his text to another woman (it was actually an innocent text) I asked him who that woman was as I know all his contacts. He grabbed his phone and started switching contacts. We started to fight until he admitted that this woman was actually the woman we used to fight before, he admitted they became bestfriends. I asked how they became besfriend if they only see each other at work for like 10-20mins. The woman gets off work before 11:30pm and my husband shift starts at 11pm. He said they talk befor she goes home. And I asked if they were texting or calling each other and he said, "no". He said it was long time ago the last time she texted him. I Had a bad feeling that something is not right so I checked our bill statement online, and there! Bunches of calls and texts! They've been contacting each other for 10 months behind my back. They only talk on the phone when my husband at work or when he's not with me. My husband works 16 hours and he spends those hours with this woman on the phone. He said they don't really talk, and she just stays on the line while he's working. When they're not on the phone talking, they exchange texts messages. There's like 30 texts a day. When he's at work, he calls me for no more than 5mins and once he hangs up, he calls her until his shift is over. Even driving home from work or going to work, he calls her. Theres no single day that he didn't call her even his days off. He said shes just a friend that he used of talking to, nothing deep. He said that they only talk or she just stays in the line. No physical. The only time they see other is at work for like 10 mins just to say "bye". He said they never met up somewhere else and I proved it. He admitted he made a mistake and he's guilty and regrets that he talks to her. He even let me call this woman on the phone and she said it was really nothing, they just talked and text. This woman blocked me and my husband on Facebook and Instagram and i asked her "why", and she said she doesnt even know my full name. She's a liar. She's actually calm when I was yelling at her, telling her what type of woman she is..yet she still calm and she said they're just friends..ugh i don't know who to believe.
He already stop calling and texting her. He's asking me to believe its nothing but in my mind and in my heart, there's more. Was it just a friend? I don't know how to cope with this. I don't know what to do. I can't get this out of my head. He wants to save this marriage. He said he learned his lesson and doesnt want to hurt me again. He said he can't stand seeing me like this. We have 3 kids. I love him but I can't go on like this. What do I do? :(
Estee
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2015 4:18 pm

Re: Husband spends long hours on the phone with another woma

Postby ThunderHorse » Sat Jan 17, 2015 6:57 pm

How old are your children?

Are plans in place to manage college expenses?

Is counseling an option? Marriage? Personal?

What could be some goals for counseling? What topics would be off limits for you?

What levels of cooperation have you been extending, which are now hard for you, because of the feelings of betrayal?

Are there additional areas of fulfillment for your husband, that he has not asked for, or that you might not have thought were important to him? Do you regularly give recognition to the efforts he makes at work, on his job?

Embarrassing your husband, with revealing his behavior, is a potent weapon in your arsenal. How can disclosure be best formulated for optimal negotiated results?

Would it be too expensive to seek to understand how best to legally protect the rights and privileges of your children?

I wish you a successful resolution.

//
ThunderHorse
 
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:10 pm


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