I am in a moral dilemma. I love my wife and we for the majority of the time, have a smooth sailing relationship. We both work full-time in very stressful jobs, we are trying to build the financial foundations to have children.
In the time at home I have, I really do pull my weight around the house. I try through my helping behaviours to show her I love her. Buying her flowers, chocolates is not something I do, so in some sense I may not be the 'romantic' type. I really just try to show her that I love her through my kind actions. I spend hours listening to how she feels, without giving advice. In her work, I try to help her with plans to be more successful. I am a husband who really loves his wife and trys to show her at all times, through his actions his deep love for her.
Our problem, or my problem rather is the lack of sex. She never makes the time to be pro-active sexually with me. If sex occurs, it occurs because I have prompted it, VERY rarely does it occur on her own doing. Physically, I work out hard at the gym, there is no reason for me to not be attractive in her eyes. So I am confused. I have come to accept within myself, that I am not the problem - I used to blame myself, for not being attractive enough in her eyes because of this... not enough money, not maintaining the house enough etc. But even when I'm working my guts out to help her, the same issue arrises: my need for sex, and her apparent lack of sex drive.
So Ive never slept with anyone else outside of our 10 year relationship, I have been completely faithful. However, I feel now I am getting the point where I feel neglected and are thinking about pursuing other women outside of my relationship.
I've talked about my unhappiness with her, however she seems to believe that she gives me adequate sex and that I must have deeper self-esteem issues at play here. She may be right, every man wants to feel validated and I am no exception to that rule. Regardless, I crave her touch and I wont more than anything else in the world, for the woman I love to want me physically as much as I want her. However, for years now my situation has just gone from bad to worse.
So guys, help a married man out here. Should I be looking outside of my relationship for the physical touch of another woman? Should I visit an escort service? Have a girl-friend on the side?
I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions you may have.
Mike