i have been married for 10 years, the first five years didn't have kids with my husband to finish my uni studies. My husband had a one night stand 6 years ago and resulted in a baby. i forgave him and decided to move on, but wasn't easy, then the woman decided to give full custody of the child who was two to my husband an now i am raising as my own for 4 years now. but during this 6 years is like he looking outside now, i first found a letters, well that stopped, then like messages of women he had met on the internet, one even suggested had giving him oral sex and his husband contact me about it . and then others , look quite innocents but by now my trust was starting to slip.. anyway that also i let it pass after a while, it is not like he would give me a huge bouquet of roses, to say sorry or something i thought that he would try to make it up by renovating the house and always being financially responsible and hoping deep down he would change as i always try to be as good as i can , i am not perfect but in arguments he sort of making it i am the one to blame that he has had a bad life with me and bring up my weight issue or my family etc it really can put you down. i have almost always try to please him sexually.
By now i have my own son , he is 2 years old and my stepson is 6 and the thing is because of the attitude he gets i would wonder why? something so simple like forgot to take the laundry out the first words for him to tell me are swearing words or telling me what kind of lazy woman i am, anyways i though lately he always has his mobile ph off, and noticed he would try to make trips late afternoon or night to the library or go and buy milk even though we had enough. then i got his mobile ph bill at the end of last year, and there was this long list of the same number. of course a woman answered, i talk to her and said they were only friends, that he would call her and really have friendly talking about everthing, me as the naive stupid woman i said as long as it is that. he sort of tried to say it was stupid and that he had no contacted her, yet the next one it was longer than the first, i threatened lo leave unless he went to marriage counselling. we only went two times, he really didn't want to be there , he didn't want to go anymore, and well after i while in december i tried again to get back to normal, but before making him say that he really had stopped contact and i spoke with the woman yet again and well she said that she had told him to stop calling her because obviosly was affecting our marriage...but this month i checked his bill on line because he had changed to three months bill. and the phones and messages are there still! sometimes up to 5 messages in one day!, this i have confronted him really sternely, and his only response? silence and more silence, and to me he seems so cool and calm about it!doesn't seem to be agitated by the whole thing he lied to me more than once. the few things he said were he has had enough and sort of did it as reprocassion or something like that? maybe from what i can undertstand from what i did he did this....what have done? love him, forgave him so many times and especially of all, try to help him raise his kid?????i am not perfect but this time he has gone low, really low. obviosly he is out the marital room i trie d to tell him to move out a couple of days but still he doesn't, been a week and half now. and still he is saying nothing, has not even said sorry, his routine, goes to work, comes home do stuff...like if nothing maybe thinking i would calm down..as before i have done..but i am seriously thinking leaving this time, is just i am trying to leave a window for him but that window is getting smaller and smaller. he loves his kids but not even them make him stop doing this to me , i am really sad and my self steem is gone, i tried to be strong for the kids, try to enjoy time with them but sometimes i just to be alone because i am tired, i tried to do excercise and actually have lost some weight but the excercise and diet has helped too. anyone with a suggestion i would really appreciate as talking has been my therapy.