by mdg » Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:56 am
I have been married for 21 years and for the most part the marriage has been tough. My husband has always had 1 or 2 close female friends he works with. I struggle with this, because I steer clear of male coworkers. I will eat lunch in a group with them and be friendly, but definitely have a line. My husband eats lunch alone with these women and talks about their conversations often. I was on antidepressants for years trying to "not care" about these friendships, although I felt they were wrong for a married man. He often spoke to them about how unhappy his marriage was as well as work and their families. Last May, I found several text messages and many calls to 2 women in particular. I called the phone numbers to verify who he was talking to. I left no message, just needed confirmation. One of the ladies, A, called our house and asked if I called her. I said yes. She said many things but never admitted anything. She told me that me and my husband needed to figure things out. The other former co worker, B, quit texting him, but soon after sent her resume to his company for a job working directly under him. I asked him to cut the contact with these 2 women. He was home on his birthday due to an ice storm I walked in to talk to him and a message from B asking him how his birthday was etc. When I saw the email he deleted and said he didn't contact her again. Well, 6 days later he said she email him to see if he celebrated his birthday appropriately, but swears he never responded. I really don't know what to believer or trust. After doing some checking-snooping-I found out that my husband had emailed a picture of our two sons and my husband to another lady, C, he works with. I confronted him about it and he said they were just friends. He has been to lunch with lunch. He has agreed but I can't follow him around. I try to trust him, but he can't seem to live without female attention. I met him at the movies after work for our anniversary and he told me that this new co-worker wants to by an itouch from my son... I didn't say anything, just tried to make the night a good one. We spent the day together yesterday and he was telling me some business information that C had told him. I just went on with the day. I think he metioned C another time. By the end of the afternoon he was talking about C and her kids and how much they worked out and played sports in detail. After a couple of minutes I told him TMI...He continued to talk about C's husband and his job. I asked him if was texting her and calling her before and after work like he did A & B. He told me I needed to get counseling or he was going to leave. To this day he swears he is only a friend and has never been anything more. Can he just be friends with these women or am I crazy? He has no male friends and has issues with his mother.