I have been with my husband for 10 years. We've had a low frequency sex life for the last 5 years. He complains about it and I have put in some effort but overall we would both get a poor score in the effort dept. I know I should try way harder to be more sexually intimate.
My husband goes out alot with his friends sometimes fairly late. I'm very 'cool' in this regard - he has his freedom. Although he has never cheated on me (as far as I know), lately I've been worried he may cheat on me.
Last night I went to bed and he went out to meet the guys. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was still not home - I felt unsettled. I think he got home btwn 4-5 AM. This morning I awoke & checked his blackberry. I found a thread that suggests to me he slept or was intimate with someone and will see her again. This may be the start of an affair – or I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I know it is not good. Here is the text thread from 5:30 AM this morning:
H: Do I really have to wait until Tuesday to see you? You look beautiful while you sleep.
O: I’d be lying is I said you didn’t. You too.
H: Can’t wait to see you again. Sleep well.
O: I’ll see you soon.
After spending some time on the internet today, I do not think I handled this well:
I told him I had a dream he cheated on me last night and asked him about it including her name. He denied it, said he would never cheat, and didn’t know a girl named ‘X'. I told him I loved him and wanted to turn our love life around. I asked him not to start cheating on me if there was anything at all going on. I said let’s go on a date next week and he said “yes how about Monday” … I said I was busy. So he said “how about Tuesday?” So sad, because it doesn’t mean anything … he can just reschedule with her for another night. He will also make sure he guards his blackberry 24/7 at a minimum he knows my radar is up. Now I've shown him even though I suspect he may have cheated, I'm desperate & will also have sex with him.
What should I do? How can I stop this from going further?
I’m really scared ... and so sad ... his words "you look beautiful while you sleep" are killing me
Thanks in advance for your advice