Think I uncovered infidelity this AM ... shaken
Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:27 am
I have been with my husband for 10 years. We've had a low frequency sex life for the last 5 years. He complains about it and I have put in some effort but overall we would both get a poor score in the effort dept. I know I should try way harder to be more sexually intimate.
My husband goes out alot with his friends sometimes fairly late. I'm very 'cool' in this regard - he has his freedom. Although he has never cheated on me (as far as I know), lately I've been worried he may cheat on me.
Last night I went to bed and he went out to meet the guys. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was still not home - I felt unsettled. I think he got home btwn 4-5 AM. This morning I awoke & checked his blackberry. I found a thread that suggests to me he slept or was intimate with someone and will see her again. This may be the start of an affair – or I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I know it is not good. Here is the text thread from 5:30 AM this morning:
H: Do I really have to wait until Tuesday to see you? You look beautiful while you sleep.
O: I’d be lying is I said you didn’t. You too.
H: Can’t wait to see you again. Sleep well.
O: I’ll see you soon.
After spending some time on the internet today, I do not think I handled this well:
I told him I had a dream he cheated on me last night and asked him about it including her name. He denied it, said he would never cheat, and didn’t know a girl named ‘X'. I told him I loved him and wanted to turn our love life around. I asked him not to start cheating on me if there was anything at all going on. I said let’s go on a date next week and he said “yes how about Monday” … I said I was busy. So he said “how about Tuesday?” So sad, because it doesn’t mean anything … he can just reschedule with her for another night. He will also make sure he guards his blackberry 24/7 at a minimum he knows my radar is up. Now I've shown him even though I suspect he may have cheated, I'm desperate & will also have sex with him.
What should I do? How can I stop this from going further?
I’m really scared ... and so sad ... his words "you look beautiful while you sleep" are killing me
Thanks in advance for your advice
My husband goes out alot with his friends sometimes fairly late. I'm very 'cool' in this regard - he has his freedom. Although he has never cheated on me (as far as I know), lately I've been worried he may cheat on me.
Last night I went to bed and he went out to meet the guys. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was still not home - I felt unsettled. I think he got home btwn 4-5 AM. This morning I awoke & checked his blackberry. I found a thread that suggests to me he slept or was intimate with someone and will see her again. This may be the start of an affair – or I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I know it is not good. Here is the text thread from 5:30 AM this morning:
H: Do I really have to wait until Tuesday to see you? You look beautiful while you sleep.
O: I’d be lying is I said you didn’t. You too.
H: Can’t wait to see you again. Sleep well.
O: I’ll see you soon.
After spending some time on the internet today, I do not think I handled this well:
I told him I had a dream he cheated on me last night and asked him about it including her name. He denied it, said he would never cheat, and didn’t know a girl named ‘X'. I told him I loved him and wanted to turn our love life around. I asked him not to start cheating on me if there was anything at all going on. I said let’s go on a date next week and he said “yes how about Monday” … I said I was busy. So he said “how about Tuesday?” So sad, because it doesn’t mean anything … he can just reschedule with her for another night. He will also make sure he guards his blackberry 24/7 at a minimum he knows my radar is up. Now I've shown him even though I suspect he may have cheated, I'm desperate & will also have sex with him.
What should I do? How can I stop this from going further?
I’m really scared ... and so sad ... his words "you look beautiful while you sleep" are killing me
Thanks in advance for your advice