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[admin note: see related post by same author/same date in "infidelity" section]

My wife and I have been having problems and I think she has or is cheatng. Now I have cheated before years ago. But I love this woman to death and will never do it again. When we got married we couldn't afford a wedding, she's always talked about having one and for some reason I kept nixing her off. Its been 11 years, and she's reecently told she hasn't been happy for yrs. I can honestly say the same, but its not that I'm unhappy with her, I'm unhappy with myself, I've been battling depression for years. But I love this woman and want nothing else. I even told her to set a date so we could renew our vows and have the wedding she's always dreamed of, even went shopping for a new ring, let her pick what she wanted. But then yesterday she told me she was scared and she didn't know if it was a good idea. I think she's seeing one of her coworkers. She is so protective of her cell phone. I don't know to do, I'm scared. I don't know what ill do without this woman. And what about our kids?

I am very sorry to hear these words from you. May I ask how old your wife is? Reason...I have seen/experienced recently some of the changes a 40+ year old woman can manifest. She may be experiencing a mid-life change where she is re-evaluating her life...everything about it. Have you read Dr. Scott's book and started to implement some of the ideas he has? If so, it will take a bit of time for her to trust that what is coming to her from you is real. Seek help through counseling both for yourself, and together as a couple.