Stymied by a former lover

cold fish is getting cooked

Postby stymied » Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:51 pm

Well here I am nearly 8 months after my first posting for some advice. Still working hard at our relationship but I am feeling like I am getting nowhere.

The other man is out of the picture but maybe in the forefront of my wife's mind. I cant tell. I know she has a small connection to his business that she wants to keep a secret from me, and even though I have mentioned that I am aware of it she has no intention of bringing me up to speed on the matter.

We now have a quite life of bring up our son, me working and paying the bills, buying flowers occasionally and even jewelry for our wedding anniversary. I cook every day and give her hugs and kisses. Dinner dates [with baby] and I take baby out on outing often to give her some time to herself. I am sure I am smothering her as she gets angry with my attention and constant questions.

Even though she wants my opinion on her new clothing choices and asks me about how nice she looks, she continues to be a cold fish towards me even though she maintains our relationship with motherly and household duties.

I hold her tight often multiple times a day and ask her how we can move ahead towards being a successful and happy family but she refuses to answer in any way. I am trying so hard to understand her.

How do I break down this wall she has between us? In my mind I'm being the perfect husband doing his duty.
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Postby ThunderHorse » Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:29 am

Sounds like some progress. Have you recntly reviewed the Love Diet? 180 Degress Divorce Busters? They recommend little changes to make things more sensitive, more interesting. If you are giving your wife the same hugs inthe morning as in the evening, you might give her lighter hugs in the morning and afternoon.

Does your wife talk to you about some things? Are you able to get her to talk 15 min per day? If not, are you abve to offer to let her talk, when you have 15 Min.? Are there any subjects you ask her not to talk about? It being best to let her talk about whatever she wants to.

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Re: Stymied by a former lover

Postby stymied » Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:56 pm

Baby is now seven years and we continue our marriage albeit be without intimacy.

Fancy having no sex for 6 years?

With a phd her superiority complex is annoying to say the least. However my wife is very smart and I do admire her for that.

Anyway, she wont talk about our marriage, even though we sleep in the same bed. And she continues a friendly but secret relationship with her former boyfriend.

I'm sort of past the point of worrying and let her do as she wants. She controls the home, TV and most everything else. She has no friends [because no-one is up to her level of thinking] When she wants something from me she gets it.

Hugs are daily, kisses are returned with a jab to the ribs and flowers are monthly.

I do spy on her just mostly for fun. On the very rare occasion she watches porn in secret at least makes me feel she does have some sort of libido.

I guess if I had any question it would be how to/or whether to break my silence and let her know that Im aware of the secret relationship.
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Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:43 pm


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