My woman insists to maintain close friendship with expartner

[Reiter]

Hi, currently I am with my partner over 4 years, we have an over 2 years old daughter. The issue is that she insists to maintain a very close relationship with her ex partner, there are occasions when she meets him 4-5 times a week, and they talk almost daily over the phone. That relationship ruins our relationship. She insists that the the friendship with her ex is very important to her, so important that she will rather ruin our relationship then to give up. Despite I love her very much it's hard to accept that somebody is more precoius to her than me and a happy family. What arguments to use? Does our relationship any chance to survive?

[ThunderHorse]

Chapter 4 is listening strategies. How can you imporove your lsitening skills? What prases do you use to invite your woman to vent? When was the last mistake you made in cutting your woman off, when she wantted to vent?

I cut my wife off by saying I did not want to hear about he rideas on religion. I have changed, and now, I just make causal, non-commital comments to acknowledge some degree of validity to th ideas she expresses.

I contradicted my wife tonight. I gave one of our grand daughters a small back pack of garrets and hair bands. My wife exclaimed that I nver gave our daughter any presents like that.

I contradicted her and said, "Yes I did, I gave her hair bands." Ther was an awkward silence. Maybe not a big deal. Just I could have done better, I suppose.

Maybe I couold have kept my wife talking bysaying something loike, "Well what esle did I never give our daughter that your remember I should have given her?"





..

[Troubledspouse]

I went through a similar issue with my wife several years ago when she reached out and got in contact with her ex (who just happened to be the one who took her virginity). I knew it was a bad idea and asked her to stop but she refused. It turned into an "emotional affair" that almost caused a divorce. If she would have given me the answer she gave you and refused to cut it off, I most certainly would have divorced her.

I am not saying to rush out and get a divorce but maybe some counseling could help. There is an underlying reason that she is still with her ex and why she is willing to give up all she has with you rather than cut it off with her ex. If she actually does love her ex more than you, you have to decide whether you can live with that. If not, move on.

[Reiter]

Because she says that there is nothing wrong in the situation, just that I am creazy...

[ThunderHorse]

Because she says that there is nothing wrong in the situation, just that I am creazy...

Jealousy is an emotion. If she wants your love,then she has to accept your jeaoluosy.


Jealousy is personal, and illogical, so you need to keep trying to explain your feelings of jealusy to her.





..