BiBi77 wrote:I discovered, by accident, that my husband had visited some online sites. He denied it and went through an elaborate explanation of how internet sites can be linked together, unbeknownst to the user. What gives?
he's probably embarassed.
there are two sides to this issue. on the one hand, porn is just like anything else: in moderation, it's fine and mostly not harmful. (i say 'mostly' because little is known about how the performers were compelled to participate). but in excess, it's a full blown addiction, complete with escalating patterns and compulsive and destructive behaviors.
i am no expert, but i have read that if the porn viewer requires continually higher levels of stimulation (involving images like younger-looking females, humiliation, violence, or other things out of the norm of regular sex) it's a sign that s/he has become desensitized. it's not unlike a drug addict needing more to maintain the high. (and the "high" is not just an analogy, there IS a high involved).
other signs might include an inability to become or maintain arrousal during actual sex, or spending hours in front of the computer disengaged from the real world.
if this is your husband, get help. if not, let him jerk it once in a while. it's fun and at least he is not cheating or in danger of catching anything. maybe you can participate. =-)