My husband and I have been married for three years. We are in our mid-20's. I entered into this marriage with trust issues (past relationships,father issues). It was always an issue that caused me to snoop etc. We spoke, and I was assured by husband that I had no reason not to trust him and that I needed to let go of my fears. Fast forward six months, and I had made progress to the point that I was almost 100% trusting him. Last week for whatever reason (divine intervention?), I looked into his phone (he knew that I knew the PW to get in). I found a text where he was breaking a friendship off with a friend (who was a co-worker). The first text (dated Feb) was basically saying that they couldn’t be friends because it is “a fine line between friendship and more” , she argued it but he stood pretty firm (she's def one of those kinda women). A few weeks after that there is a text where she texted him about her bad day at work and he says whatever about it and the conversation ends with him saying "nice talking to you...", fast forward to two weeks ago she sends a picture of herself and he says very nice and they chat about her b-day.
Of course I immediately bring the phone to him and ask for an explanation of the texts.
During our discussion of the texts He is extremely open and tells me they were work friends. She had invited him to lunch one day and he went and started from there (lunch took place about 5 times, in addition to texting throughout the friendship). He said he basically cut it off with her via text because a few months before the actual text took place he distanced himself from her, because he knew the friendship was wrong and wanted it to stop. She texted and asked why he was so cold and that's how the "cant be friends" text started. He said any text that took place after the Feb “cant be friends” text were basically just trying to keep it cordial (eg work.whatever). Over the last 7 days, he has been very open to discussion and will explain every last detail. He is firm in telling me it wasn’t an emotional affair and he never turned to her for anything. It was just a friendship that he knew from the get go shouldn’t have been.
The lies are what get me. He has been firm that nothing was worth lying for and he deeply regrets lying. I do believe that he is truly sorry. I feel like the only way I can move on is by accepting what happened and looking towards forgiveness, yet I’m finding it difficult to put any sort of sense behind it. Part of me wants to contact her, but he said he will contact her (visible to me) and let her know to please leave him be. I feel resolution even after typing this, but the question of why he lied and befriended her, even after his answers, still hurts me.