I recently saw a video in spouse phone of him having sex with a woman. I confronted him about it and asked when did it happen. He stated during a time I told him I no longer wanted to be married to him and I kicked him out of our home which was more than a year ago. He stated he thought our marriage was over and he was so angry. So he contacted an old female friend, they drank at a bar and in the end she returned to hotel where he said he stayed. He stated he knew what he did was wrong n apologized. He said he never thought I would find out n he didn't want to tell me because we got back together three or four days after I put him out.
I struggle with fact he recorded it on cell phone and kept it. Further, he had unprotected sex. I feel so betrayed and don't know if I could forgive him. Am I wrong? Is that cheating for I feel it is since we were legally married. I don't know what to do since I don't trust him for he has done other things in our ten years of marriage that chipped at trust. Wondering if I should end marriage? We own a home and have three young childre (teen, 6yr and 8 year) old.
June 15 (update)- I am in such emotional turmoil. I can't sleep at night due to thoughts of spouse being with another person. I am also so angry because he told me that it is so difficult for him to talk about because he just wanted to forget it never happened. However, I then asked when was the last time he spoke to her and I asked him to be honest. He stated he calls about one time per month to see how she's doing, for her mother had passed away. The only way he knew that was he had to keep in touch after being intimate with her. I have been crying so hard from my soul because I feel he has no remorse or regret because if he did he would not have remained in contact with her if he wanted to forget for every time he speaks to her he has to remember. The idea that he kept in touch is hurting me more than the act of cheating he claimed happened two years ago. Is this crazy for me to think? I also asked him to call the woman in front of me and tell her that I know and they are no longer to be in contact, which he did. But I still do not feel any better. I have never experienced such a deep pain caused from betrayal. In fact every time his phone wrongs or he gets a text message my heart races ad I feel sick to my stomach.