Husband Keeping Secrets


Postby elizacol » Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:59 pm

Whew! I wish I had a good answer for you. There has to be a reason for his lies...they aren't coincidental.

You can't 'force' the truth out of him. BUT, having gone through (and still going thru) my H's mlc, I would keep your eyes and ears open. It sounds like 'something' is going on!

As for getting him to be honest. Gee. I wish I knew the answer to that one.
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My husband is keeping secrets from me and not telling me why

Postby cwnet10 » Thu Sep 07, 2006 11:21 am

elizacol thanks for the reply.

The only things I can think of as to why he is this way is because; (1) he's cheating and; (2) he had been unemployed for 1 1/2 years and it was taking a toll on our relationship. But still, why be secretive.
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Postby elizacol » Thu Sep 07, 2006 6:47 pm

Why be so secretive? Because he probably does not want to hurt you.

Over the past year, while my H was doing what he was doing...he said his main concern (aside from making himself feel good), was not wanting to hurt me. Gee...hard to believe considering what he was doing...but...I do, ultimately, believe him. The old, 'what she doesn't know can't hurt her'. Yes, part of it was covering his a**, but a bigger part was the hurt he knew it would cause me.

He now knows (or at least is beginning to understand) that the lies hurt more than his actions.

It could be nothing more than his way of having some control over his life...if he is/has been unemployed...I imagine his sense of worth has taken a hit. The lies might be his way of gaining some control over his life.

I don't know...that just came to mind. I could be way off base.

I truly hope he isn't having an affair. I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy.

I wish I had some advice for you as to how to get him to open up, how to deal with this, etc.

I do know the snooping, which I do/did, too. certainly won't help things. BUT, in the same vein, you (I) deserve(d) to know what is going on. I still am angry about being 'kept in the dark'.
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