Does marriage matter for fatherhood?

Does marriage matter for fatherhood?

Postby ionicbitterness » Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:15 pm

A lot of literature on fatherhood and geared towards dads tends to give you a lot of contradictory info--but one very clear consistent message in all of it is that it's important for a father to be very respectful towards his wife. Is being a good husband integral to being a decent father?
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Postby elizacol » Sun Oct 01, 2006 10:43 pm

Of course!

You are the role model for your children in ALL areas. They will be watching your every move, believe it or not...and integrating it into their own selves. Your actions towards your spouse teaches your children how they should treat their future spouses ( not to mention everyone else they come into contact with).

IF you want your children to treat others with disrespect, treat your spouse that way. They will learn it and live it. No doubt about it.
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Postby Hremom » Mon Oct 02, 2006 12:37 am

YES!! A good marriage is integral to being a good parent. It makes you more stable in all areas of your life and more often leads the parents to work as a team in how they parent.

And it is equally important that the wife/mother show respect and honor to the husband/father.
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Postby Patriarch Verlch » Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:36 pm

Personally I would marry in a church and write in on the bible before God. Keep the State off the marriage certificate, as they will undoubtedly keep their hand in the cookie jar if they see fit.

In America the Marriage contract goes as such:

1. Lovely Wife
2. State
3. Man

In the event of divorce the state has a potential windfall of court dockets, interest and other such anomalies that it never used to profit off of.
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Re: Does marriage matter for fatherhood?

Postby Thaddaus » Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:44 pm

So you are essentially wondering if, in order to be a good father you must also be an equally good husband, am I correct? You have also been reading literary components to supplement your question which I am glad to hear since you’re not just leaving the question to be answered by the media or things “heard on the street”. You mustn’t worry about this question being out of the ordinary because I have also wondered over it in the past so you’re not alone or wrong in thinking about this; it’s natural.

It’s widely known that children grow and learn through observation and mimicry. When young, children can be most susceptible to developing belief perseverance. This reoccurring psychological theory, as Dr. Misiurski says is, “A persistence of one’s initial beliefs, even when given an explanation as why they might be wrong.” This makes it very difficult to prove your own belief wrong once you’ve accepted it to be true.

This applies to your situation very simply. While raising your kids, you don’t want them to initially learn the wrong way to treat their wife or significant other. If you are disrespectful to your wife, you don’t want them to develop the belief that that behavior is acceptable, therefore leading them to act that way themselves later in life. Even once they grow older they will now have a belief perseverance causing them to stick with their initial belief of marriage and spouse treatment.

It is my opinion that you must treat your wife respectfully and meanwhile set a good example of fatherhood by maintaining a good marriage for your children. As to being a good father and avoiding negative initial beliefs, all you need to do is try setting a good belief early on. This way your kids won’t have negative persevering beliefs that they have trouble re-learning. Just be a kind and respectable husband and father and your kids will thank you for it when they grow older.
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Re: Does marriage matter for fatherhood?

Postby psych major85 » Wed Nov 06, 2013 2:25 pm

So, your question is, does being a good husband have an impact on fatherhood? From my experience how a husband and wife interact with one another, does make a very big impact on the child/children. I'm a 28 year old Psychology major who is married and has a 5 year old daughter. I understand first hand how two individuals interact with one another can affect not only the marriage but, the children especially. My husband and I have had some disagreements in front of our daughter and, we had seen how she began to act out. "Dr.Haltzman said Research proves that happy families are good for health, longevity, peace of mind, productivity, and success". So to answer your question, yes being a good husband does affect being a father. Children live what they see, so if they see either their mom or dad being disrespectful to one another not only will it affect their view on relationships, but how they treat others in life. I would say maybe you and your wife should try to talk more, or if you feel that you are going to argue try not to do it in front of the kids. This can be hard I know, but at least try. You got married for a reason, don't give up on it. Go with your instincts but communicate with your spouse and try to explain that even though mommy and daddy disagree it does not mean we do not love each other. I wish you the best of luck and hope all works out!!

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