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already coming apart

PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 2:33 pm
by rewster451
Hi, newby here.

I came to this forum because after six months we are already having some major problems. It's mostly due to stress I think, but there doesn't seem to be an end to it in sight.

When we got married we lived in San Francisco, and while we had plenty of cash, my job required me to work very late nights, so we had no time together. Restaurant industry. But we had a dream of owning our own restaurant, and to that end I took a job as manager of a vegan restaurant in Kansas City owned by an old friend, and we geared up to take over the family farm, fifty miles south of the city.

Well, two weeks after we moved every single thing fell apart. We were supposed to have a car, but it didn't run, my old friend didn't seem to understand the gravity of our moving 2000 miles from our home for his job and handled our business relationship very unprofessionally, and he fired me because his wife didn't like me (I'm actually confused about why it happened, that's the only thing that makes sense, and though I'm sure the reader will have a tendency to think I must have somehow ruined it for myself, I can only reiterate that I truly do not know what happened there), and now I have to work at another late night restaurant that doesn't quite pay our bills.

But she has basically given up. Won't look for a job, won't leave the house, fights with me every night when I get home from work, and basically hates me for dragging her out to this terrible city and forfeiting everything we had going for us in San Francisco. I don't know what to do. I'd be happy to move us back, but I can't do it on my salary alone, I can't even pay rent here. And she simply will not stop wallowing in self pity and hatred toward me.

Any advice?

Re: already coming apart

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 2:58 pm
by CNYwoman
cut down on all your bills, save, and then move back. i do think that your spouse is being very unreasonable by not helping with the bills. Perhaps if you suggest getting a job in order to move, that might change your situation a bit. good luck