Some phrases:
I would prefer if we could keep things on a respectful connotation.
You could rephrase the idea to __ ____ which would be mutually respectful.
Could we try to be more cordial?
I suggest a goal of Cordiality in marital conversation, and that way, digs or insults become less likely to happen. Supportive, Acknowledging at least minimal value, congenial.
There are some books on Amazon, you can search Marriage and Conversation. Some are at libraries.
Here is a link to Dr. Harley of Marriage Builders has a section on Marital Conversation:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5056_qa.html
Interrupting is a key in improving bad habits. If you are a part of the conversation, then you can ask fro a change in the topic of conversation. You can withdraw your participation in the topic, if it were to continue.
"Apparently we disagree about ___, so perhaps we could talk about _____ instead? How is ___?
Interruption can be changing the topic of conversation. If a more pronounced interruption is need, you can excuse yourself from the table on some pretext. I am going to try to find a toothpick, some Chicklet gum, Some bubble gum, I am going to wash my hands, or use the restroom.
I have asked my wife for a code word, so that I can let her know when her comments are less than fair, or slightly discouraging. By having a code word in advance, and reminding my wife about it occasionally, it gives me more confidence that I can trust my wife.
My wife would do that so often to me, when eating dinner with our children, when they were teenagers, and I did not understand about repeated interruptions can make progress. I usually let my wife eat with the children, and I just took my dinner to the den to pay bills, while I ate.
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