Anonymous wrote:whome:
Actually the progressive left favors criticizing the hell out of their leaders. Go to a right-wing forum and you're kicked out for questioning dear leader. Go to left-wing forum and you're mocked (though not usually booted) for NOT questioning, well, whoever they're talking about at the time. (Examples are the Free Republic forum and Mike Malloy forums for the right and left wing, respectively.)
That being said, this isn't a political forum so I'll end the side-tracked bit here.
No, it's not a political forum. Yet, there is an important gender issue here which very much applies to being a happily married man.
On the right or the left if you, a mere male, question a sexist gender assertion you will be in deep trouble. On both sides of the political spectrum the male is at fault: Period. This "mama is always right" viewpoint is a threat to happiness and marriage and by being such, a threat to society.
Try questioning an assertion that abuse is almost always men abusing women, on either side of the politics and the odds are high you will not only be told you hate women, you will be bounced too. Therein lies the problem. The truth is not wanted on either side: The male experience of life is not wanted either.
Together this ensures more unhappy marriages.
Anonymous wrote:I think it is true that a relationship should be built on mutual respect. Simply caving in all the time, even when I'm factually right, would frustrate the hell out of me to the point of insanity. I'm willing to admit fault when I'm wrong, as if I don't then I don't learn anything. If it's a gray area I'm usually open to being swayed and will be happy to listen to counter-arguments. But if there's a blue car across the street and I say "that car is blue" and she says "no it's red", I'm going to stick to my argument, and I'd expect her to admit fault when she's wrong as well. That's part of, you know, working together to overcome things. Stubbornly holding onto something when you know you're wrong gets you no where.
YES! Yes, a million times yes.
I can see no reason to get into an argument over small things. I don't care whether X said Y or Z. It doesn't matter. I think a lot of marital disharmony comes down to trying to be right when being right simply doesn't matter.
There are times though when it very much matters. Here, the ability to argue politely --and with care and concern for the other-- will help the marriage. Some university prof has been studying marriages for decades. He and his group say that the best predictor of marital strength / weakness is contempt. Show contempt for your partner and the marriage is done for: Keep cpntempt out and the odds favor the marriage.
Arguments are the place contempt most often shows it's ugly head.
whome