Completely Lost!

Completely Lost!

Postby MeToo57 » Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:23 pm

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here and this is my first time in posting.

I have a bundle of questions I would like answered if it is at all possible, but they really all fall into one question, which is why is there so many lies out there telling us men how to act and behave in the home to keep the wife happy, when there is little to nothing out there suggesting what women should do to help keep their husbands happy that is not centred on being a benefit to the woman or does not involve trying to effeminise their husband?

Women are given far too much credence in this world today and it all seems like every man out there is either an abusive thug, a child abuser, a drunk whose only interested is in sex, sport and his friends, or all of the above. Yet all we ever hear is that women are incapable of all of the above and they are so morally innocent.

Somebody please hand me a bucket!

Then all we ever hear is how these rotten men only ever think with their private parts and not with their brains.
What an insulting thing to say!
No man would ever get away with describing a woman like that, yet men are described like that in all the gutter shows on TV and at the movies.

Then there is the common complaint women have that men are so untrustworthy in marriage because they are the ones who usually play around and women rarely play around.
Well, if that is true and the men are not queer, then please tell me who the men are actually playing around with?
If you can't guess, then I suppose I will have to tell you.
Yep, they are playing around with Women. Yes, the humans who would never do that sort of thing are the ones men are playing around with.
That will be a big shock to the feminists in society, they will never admit to that!

By now you have probably guessed that I am bitter and you probably think I am very angry. Well, I am bitter yes, but not angry at all. I have lived and survived through two marriages to two sick abusive women, who not only abused me but our children as well. I have moved on and matured emotionally to the point that I am very happy in my own skin and have finally accepted that it is not my fault and that I did my best.
Both these women were abused as children; one by her father the other by her mother.

I did all the stupid things that are suggested on this website and other websites and also in the media, that a man should do to keep his wife happy. All I got back was more hatred and abuse.

Some idiot said that if the man helped out around with the wife's housework, then he is likely to have a better marriage and his wife might be more romantic.
Well, I'm here to tell you that this is a lie. These women just use you up and get lazier and guess what, there is even less romance than before.

Please tell me, why should I do housework when I am doing about 60 hrs a week at work, doing all the outside work at home plus helping out others and the wife is not working for money. She is at home full time looking after one child and has little housework to do, yet she expected me to do some as well.

As it turned out, I was raised by wonderful parents and we had a big family, this taught me how to work inside and out of the home. After my parents were through teaching me, I am now able to do just about everything I need to run a household and care for children. I can even iron clothes better than most women I have ever met and can teach my daughter the basics of using a sewing machine.
Not bad hey!

This last marriage that ended in 2006 saw the birth of 4 children. For almost the whole of the marriage, this lazy good for nothing abusive woman never cleaned the toilet, bathroom or laundry. I did it for 13 years out of the 15 year marriage. I did all the work outside, plus help with children and the story just goes on and on.

Now I am on my own without a woman, I now have the two eldest living with me 100% and the two youngest 50% and it is only a matter of time before I get another one. I am disabled because of a bad pain condition that originated from two too many whiplash injuries from motor vehicle accidents and from being abused by wives and driven to the point where stress was going to kill me, but didn't.

My problem today is, that one day I will want to have another relationship and I am totally lost as to how on earth am I to behave or treat this next woman.
I did all I could with two marriages and I did not force my views or my help on these women, I simply followed their lead and filled in the gaps, but still I was used and abused. I loved them unconditionally and accepted who and what they were, yet both abused me until they had disrespected me so much that they had to leave. They used lies and false allegations to get court orders and to try and destroy me totally.

I have survived, thanks be to God!!!!!!!!

So, how do I have another relationship with a woman, when in general western Caucasian women are actually quite lazy and very arrogant in that they expect to be feted all the time and to have a husband who will be like a servant to them.
This is not something I will ever do again, because no woman on this earth is worth that much pain.

So, please can someone give me, a cynical and badly battle scared man, some idea as to whether there are any REAL SINCERE women out there and how I should treat them if for some miracle I actually meet one?

Also, how do you pick a good woman from an abusive thug!!!

Thanks for your help and sorry about the length.
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2009 5:39 pm
Location: Australia

Postby elizacol » Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:31 pm

I hope you've done some soul searching to determine *why* you hooked up with that sort of woman! There is a reason. It doesn't just 'happen'. I would highly suggest that you avoid further relationships until you've figured out what in your past caused you to hook up with abusive, lazy, etc. women. Seriously.

As for who is out there telling women how they should be in a marriage...Dr. Laura for one. Granted, most women don't like her, or listen to her, but you asked.

I haven't read Dr. Haltzman's book about Secrets of Happily Married Women, but I assume he, too, offers advice to women about how they should be in a marriage.

I won't even attempt to respond to the rest of your post. I don't blame you for being bitter. I agree that women are just as much to blame as men. All you can worry about is yourself. Not what is said about other men, or other women. Not what other men, or other women in the world do. Yourself!

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Really, that's all you can do.

Good luck in dealing with your issues. I really mean that. There are wonderful women out there, just as there are wonderful men. In this day and age, I have lost faith that there are 'as many' good men and women, but there are some left.
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Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:15 am

Postby MeToo57 » Sun Jan 25, 2009 6:18 pm

Thanks for the response Elizacol, I do appreciate that you have gone to the effort of replying.

I have become the person, or change as you put it, that I would like to see in the world (except for the feelings of bitterness) and I have actually lived my life like this for a very long time. It is just a shame that there are not that many good genuine people out there as you say.

In my country, radical feminism has far too much control over the law, courts, political process and men are publicly denigrated on a daily basis in the media. The courts abuse men on a daily basis at the behest of angry vicious women, be it in a magistrates court or in the family court and the unfortunate thing about this is that women in general don't like to hear about these abuses and don't like to admit that they are occurring.
So, it is very easy as a man to be bitter.

As for your question of why I married two psychos; I have wracked my brains over that and still have no clue. I was raised by two wonderful parents who are now in their mid to late 80s and are still married after 64 years. There was never any abuse from either parent and I don't have any issues with my mother, or father for that matter.
Where this comes from, I have no idea which is why I asked the question here as to how does a man find a decent woman, or are they all bad.

Of course my common sense tells me that there are wonderful women out there, but there are not as many as people would like to think and unfortunately the good ones will of course be already married. Those that are divorced and living in the family home in my country will most definitely have used the court to get the lion's share of the property and will be deliberately alienating the children from the father.
Why would I want to get involved with a woman who is a thief and a kidnapper and hater of men?

Your suggestion of me not having any relationship until I sort out why I attracted two sickos, is an obvious one and is one that I will try to sort out before hand of course. But I would like it if someone could give me some ideas as to how this can be worked out, especially if I don't have a clue as to why I attracted these women.

Hopefully some men in this forum will send me a response and maybe give me a few tips.

Please remember that politically things are very different in each country as to how authorities treat men and women, because in my country we are about 10 years behind the US and Canada, in that men are still being abused by women who use the law as their choice of weapon and they get away with it on a daily basis.
So, this enables women in relationships to be arrogant and stand-overish and they know they can do a lot of damage to men.

Thanks again!
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2009 5:39 pm
Location: Australia

Postby Hremom » Wed Jan 28, 2009 2:49 pm

The real question shouldn't be why you attracted these women. If half of what you say about yourself is true it's obvious you are a catch. The question we need to answer is why you were attracted to these lazy, self centered, abusive women and why you stayed so long and producted four children with one! Personal therapy might help you answer those questions. Until you know the answers you won't be ready to seek a new relationship, in my opinion.

To answer your question about if there are good women out there, of course there are. I'd suggest attending a church you are comfortable with and finding out if they have a singles group. If so, attend, that's a good place to meet moral women. I have several uncles who have met their second wives at church groups and all of their marriages have been successful.

Secondly, dating and courtship should last at least three years. It takes that long to really know someone, especailly when you've got the baggage and scar tissue you have.
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