I have recently reunited with my 1st love of 10 years ago, we have made a big decision to relocate my children and myself to his state and transition together but his fear is how the children will perceive him and how he will perceive them. The back story is that we dated in 01 long distance for 2 years I had 2 children then that were young he had none. I now have 4 and he has 1, two being teenagers. We have reunited at a time where we both single parents, have been through it all relationship wise including marriage and God has brought us back together at the right time in both our lives where we need each other’s Love, care trust and companionship. He has made it clear that he don’t care about anything but us getting to him and we have started putting in place everything that goes along with the foundation of this partnership. As time goes by and we’re communicating (which I love) he has brought up once the fear of being a “Step Father” to the children because 1 he has only been around his daughter she’s an only child and so way he, the fear that they may not like him, or not being use to him, and even because he’s a strict father to his daughter (which he raised 3 of 8 years by himself and she is a GREAT child) he would apply the same discipline to them which he fears may make them not like him.
I trust this man with my life he’s a great person, has a great soul and his intentions are well off But I once to was a teenager with a step father that came out of nowhere taking over what we felt was our life and we drove him crazy and took him through hell!
Our plans is to let them stay with family during the summer so that I can get settled with school and work which will give him and I time for ourselves before they come in late August. Only my 12 year-old and 8 year old is coming with me.
My 12 year old good girl VERY intelligent so she will challenge people in a way that it comes off wrong to me I have tried to correct her on this but has been shunned by teachers and other family members because they “like” the strength in her I don’t and it bothers me.
My 8 year-old is the typical mischievous 8 year- old boy Great kid at home, straight A’s in school but acts out in class. So I do have issues that worry me in which I have talked to him about and he feels they just need a positive male in their life.
What can I do as a parent to prepare my children especially my 12 year old daughter with this transition?
How can I make his comfortable with playing that role in their life without him feeling overwhelmed?
Please Help I’m leaving in 23 days and this has me worried!