gatorate_addict wrote:i am planning on doing work from the house, but i will also care for a toddler and a preschooler. my wife and i are having a hard time figuring out chores. she wants me to be able to focus on the kids, but it could be overwhelming for her to have to a lot of the housework, especially when i'm in the home. (she's returning to work as a pediatrician) we've thought about having a cleaning lady come to take care of the house, and taking laundry to the cleaners. (it's completely affordable within the budget, but we're not sure it's a good influence on the kids for us not to do this...) we agree that she will mostly cook, and i will mostly take care of the dishes, and also for me to try and take care of things like the kids leaving toys out, etc. the thing that's been giving us grief has been laundry and house cleaning. any ideas?
There are many ways to equally do household chores and lower your overall stress. Who normally does laundry and house cleaning? If a cleaning lady is affordable in the budget, it might not be a bad idea to get one. It would be especially helpful if you had a person who can both clean for you and even go to the laundry mat for you. If not, it wouldn't be a bad idea to do some cleaning of the house little by little with working at home and watching the children. Also the laundry could be done by your wife after or before work to keep all the workload off you. If it is equal and fair, and you are both helping each other, stress should go away.
In my social psychology class all of this stuff on helping is relationships and such is taught. An example of something i have learned is the "Reciprocity norm: To those who help us, we should return help, not harm." This term and quote mean, an expectation that people will help, not hurt, those who have helped them. Another way to put it is investing in someone else and expecting dividends of what you invested.
With that being said, if you guys can equally figure out ways to get things done and help each other out, the stress you guys have over this problem, will most likely go away. When you guys got married and had children, i'm sure it crossed your mind that sometimes your gonna be overloaded with work, housework, taking care of kids, etc. but Its real life and at one point everyone's got to do what you got to do.
Once you and your wife figure it out and know what your roles will be taking care of your family, things should start running much smoother. Every once and a while, maybe do a little extra and take care of one of her chores, to give her a little break. And going back to the previous paragraph, it is very possible if you help her out with simple things like that, she may help you out in that same way and give you a needed break.