Making my wife a coupon book for our anniversary. Need ideas

Making my wife a coupon book for our anniversary. Need ideas

Postby chabugga » Thu Nov 14, 2013 6:29 pm

Hi everyone,

My wife and I have 2 kids, aged 4 and 3, so we don't get a lot of time to devote to each other. This has led to some tension in our relationship. One thing she has told me she needs more of in her life is to feel pampered and worshiped. Before, she was very self-sufficient and I didn't have to shower her with affection so it's been tough for me to adjust. I'm not what you would call a romantic.

I want to do something creative for our 6th anniversary so I've decided to make a coupon book for her. Ideas I have so far are...

-a variety of massages
-unlimited hugs
-win an argument and I will genuinely try to agree with you
-cook dinner
-1 hour of silence
-a day at the spa
-I will do anything you want, no matter how ridiculous the request

Come on guys, let's hear some more ideas! Any help is much appreciated.
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Joined: Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:46 pm

Re: Making my wife a coupon book for our anniversary. Need i

Postby socialdistortion » Sat Nov 16, 2013 10:27 pm

Dear Chabugga,

A coupon book? Great idea but there are a few fundamental issues with your post. First, you are asking the wrong population for advice. You should be asking women for ideas, not men (males really have no clue about what women need). Now let’s get to YOUR current ideas so far…

1. A variety of massages (great idea as long as she actually feels like being touched and you don’t expect sex afterwards).
2. Unlimited hugs (great idea as long as she actually feels like being touched and you don’t expect sex afterwards).
3. Win an argument (are you only giving her 1 coupon for this one?).
4. Cook dinner (this implies that you do not normally do this. It does not sound like it would not even taste good. How about 352 coupons to wash the dishes and unload the dishwasher).
5. An hour of silence (from you or the kids?).
6. A day at the spa (good one, as long as you don’t mind someone else touching her).
7. A coupon to do anything she wants (again, only 1 coupon?).

I recently went to a talk where a couple with a toddler asked a marriage expert how soon the husband should take over the duties of watching the child after he gets home from work. The speaker advised the wife to let her husband have some time to unwind after work before he jumps into watching the kids. Only a man would give this advice. The worst, most demanding and exasperating job there has ever been is watching toddlers all day long. Trust me, your wife is watching the clock all day waiting for you to come home so she can get a break. Assume that the second you walk in the door ‘tag-your-it’ for 2 solid hours. You can renegotiate this one as soon as your youngest turns 4 years old. If you want time to unwind, take the long way home!

Here are some better ideas-
1. Numerous amounts of “Not tonight Dear, I have a headache” coupons
2. A coupon to take all those kids out to dinner by yourself so she can take a bath.
3. A coupon to do all the grocery shopping with a list and the kids at least once a month.
4. Numerous coupons offering to bathe, read books and put all the kids to bed by yourself.
5. A coupon to allow her to watch her favorite show, uninterrupted one night a week.
6. An hour of silence from you and the kids.
7. 10 blank coupons that she can fill out herself (5 of which you can reject or revise).

Again, cute idea.


Social Distortion
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Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:20 am

Re: Making my wife a coupon book for our anniversary. Need i

Postby KevinDecker » Sun Nov 17, 2013 2:36 pm

10 things for your coupons

1. dinner out
1a. arrange child care so you can have dinner out
2. do the laundry for a day; washing, drying, folding, and putting away
3. do the dishes for a day, drying, and putting them away
4. breakfast in bed
5. going cheerfully to a show of her choice
6. a night out dancing, if you're not a dancer then sign up for a class that you can do together
7. an hour of chatting about something other than kids, or work, or the house
8. taking her clothes shopping, not lingerie, and help her choose something that you feel she looks great in.
9. night out at movie of her choice
10. an evening of solo parenting so she can go to dinner with her girlfriends

I'm not sure I understand your coupon about 'win an argument.' I was struck by your comment on another coupon that her request might be 'ridiculous.' A choice that is different from yours is not good, or bad, or ridiculous, it is just different.

Hopefully this is helpful to you.
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Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 1:59 pm

Re: Making my wife a coupon book for our anniversary. Need i

Postby Psych52 » Tue Dec 03, 2013 11:55 am

Hopefully your anniversary has not passed and I can still add a little input. In reading your post I understand that you and your wife do not have a lot of time devoted to each other and it is leading to tension in your relationship of six years. Not to be hard on you but after six years of marriage if you handed me a “coupon book” with free hugs, various massages and an hour of silence you would need a free coupon for the emergency room. From my experiences (married for 6 years also) if your wife is looking to be worshiped and pampered, the last thing she wants to do is use a coupon to get her attention or affection.
In Doctor Haltzmans book “Secrets of Happily Married Men” one of his steps is “Learn to Listen”. He states “Woman use the spoken word three times more frequently than the male of the species” (we just tend not to listen). You listening to your wife will allow you to find out how she expects you to worship and pamper her.
If you follow the step I stated above and maybe try out a few others, I think you will find your relationship will grow stronger and you will learn all the “little things” it takes to keep her happy by just focusing on her and listening to what she needs. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Dr. Haltzmans book, I think it could help you out a lot.
To wrap up my two cents. If it is a coupon book you are hooked on doing. I think a nice spin on it would for you to ask her to write out a book of coupons that she’d like to be able to use but instead of her actually using them, you hold on to them and surprise her with the things she wants and expects without having to ask. Also surprise her with some of your own ideas randomly.
I hope some part of this helps and wish you both a happy anniversary and happy holidays.
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