Wife is not approving my possible female business partner

Wife is not approving my possible female business partner

Postby Christopher13 » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:39 pm

First, a little background: wife and I dated for 6 years, married almost a year ago and she is currently in her first trimester with our first child. We also knew each other before dating, and were good friends for nearly 7 years before dating, so there is not much, if any secrets, between us :wink: .
The problem is as follows...I left a job at my company and am planning to make my own business. I am in the design industry, FYI. Wife is thrilled, and she encouraged me towards this decision for a long time. At this previous job I had a female coworker who left about the same time I did and is also on the path of opening a self-owned business. We talked and it would be in our interest to pull resources together and open a firm together. We complement each other well in work, have different specific fields of expertise, and are both financially situated for now. So we could both invest together in our venture. This coworker is female, and a few years younger the me. At first, the wife was ok with this, but was not thrilled with this idea :| . People around us, including her family, were ok with this. So I started negotiations with my future business partner. This was before we knew about the pregnancy.
Now, after the pregnancy was discovered, and after the plans for our firm are starting to get more concrete and definitive, the missus says no to the whole idea! Says that it would not be ok to spend a whole day with a female business partner at the office, to go on trips with her, etc...wife's problem is the perception people would have of the 2 of us (myself and the younger, single female) :roll: ...and that we would become too close, familiarize, and things of that nature....she claims to trust me not to go out of bounds, but does not trust her....
Is she ok to think this situation is unacceptable? Or is her jealousy ruining a good business opportunity? :?
edit: grammar
Christopher13
 
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Re: Wife is not approving my possible female business partne

Postby ThunderHorse » Sat Mar 08, 2014 7:30 am

Can you get your job back with the original company?

Does your design work involve just drawing up the blue prints, or also trouble shooting the prototypes?

Why do you need to travel with your partner?

Can you get a job with another company?

Jealousy is part of Love and Marriage.

How can you make up for having led your proposed business partner on for a month or so?

Can you get an office staff set up by yourself? What does that look like?

Are you giving your wife 15 minutes a day of listening time? Is your wife using her jealous complaints as a technique to get more attention from you? Is this an attention issue, rather than a jealousy issue?




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ThunderHorse
 
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Re: Wife is not approving my possible female business partne

Postby Christopher13 » Sat Apr 05, 2014 5:22 am

I can get that job, the problem is that I do not wish to do so. My wife disliked this company from the first day, so we are both on the same page regarding this.

Not sure what the relevance is, but for the sake of the argument I'll say blueprints are 90% of the work.

Travel is only local, and sporadic, ie to clients headquarters by car sometimes. We might need travel once or twice a year for a few days, but on those trips I can easily take the wife, and she knows that...so room sharing and hose kind of things are out of the question.

I can, but having my own company is the direction I wish to pursue in life...and the financial side is already visible as a plus, even after a few months of this trial period. I cannot see working for anyone else again. At least at this stage of my life.

I know that, and that's why I an not dismissing my wife's feelings on the matter at hand.

The business partner and I agreed to have separate businesses (legal entities), for legal purposes this is also ok, but we deal with clients as a team, and this works good for now. We also have a space where we see clients, which is kind of an business / design hub sort of place, and it is filled with people. This is sort of ok with the wife, but if we decide to have an office together, or share one, that is going to be an issue...

I can, but at this stage, that would only be a cost...not a real business benefit. Maybe at a later stage, if the projects become too big.

Yes, more than 15 min ;). This new job situation has given me lots more free time, which my wife really enjoys :). I have more money, more time, and am much more satisfied. I can setup my own daily schedule to accommodate her more easily during this pregnancy period (and when the baby is born), and work from my home office which I have set up, so she sees more of me. Which is a plus , I guess :D. I only go out for a few hours a day with the partner if we need to see clients or collaborators of some sort. The rest of the day I am at home, and deal with the partner via mail or phone.
Christopher13
 
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Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:38 pm

Re: Wife is not approving my possible female business partne

Postby ThunderHorse » Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:39 am

How are things going now?

You did not describe your abilities of getting your wife to vent 15 minutes per day. You said you spend more time with your wife. Look at LISTENING STRATEGIES FOR MEN, under Communications. Men make mistakes in cutting off our wives venting. I told my wife that I needed to get to work on paying bills, the other day, before I had given her 15 minutes of venting. What mistakes have you made recently? Is there anything you have told your wife directly that you do not wish her to talk about? Indirectly? See Also Compliments for Wives. How many compliments did you give your wife today? Yesterday? Are you keeping up with generating love through compliments?

In your daily sessions, how much of your wife's venting time is spent complaining about your partner?



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ThunderHorse
 
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