my fiance wants to "TRY" swinging but I'm pretty sure I CANT
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 12:29 am
I think this thread is for men, but I starting typing this all out when I realized it might be. I hope you don't get upset i'm on this thread right now, but I have a situation a lot of guys may have been through. I am a lesbian and I have known my fiance now for 3 years and have been together for 10 months. We have a great relationship. When we started dating I knew she had been married and said she asked her then husband to try swinging and he refused. She was younger then. It may have been 8 years ago and now she's almost 34. We had a conversation about her wanting to swing in the beginning stages of our relationship.
I get worried and scared that if I don't participate in a swinging event at some point in the future, she may leave me. During our discussions, I asked her if I couldn't bring myself to do it, will that ruin our relationship. She said no... But what if it does? I love her very much and would never do anything to hurt her, but even though I knew this, I entered into a relationship with her. I am going to be honest here, I think I told her I was at least willing to go to the club but that might be all I can do! I am worried when the time comes, and we go to the club she might like what she sees and if I don't do it with her, she might end up leaving. I am feeling weird about this, because what if she likes what she sees and wants that life style after I go with her? Then i'm going to feel like it's my fault, I helped her leave me! I will say that I kind of think I said I would try to go with her to check it out, just to make her happy. I dont think i'm happy about me telling her that though, because that could turn out to be one big lie! Was I just trying to save a relationship based on lies I told her? I know if we make it over the next year or 2, she will bring it up that she's ready to go to the club and check it out!! Will I freeze up or will I go with her to appease her? Will I feel uncomfortable because she will want to explore this option more once we visit the club for the first time? I know, when I thought about someone else touching her, it makes me very sick to my stomach it made me feel like I was going to throw up!
I get worried and scared that if I don't participate in a swinging event at some point in the future, she may leave me. During our discussions, I asked her if I couldn't bring myself to do it, will that ruin our relationship. She said no... But what if it does? I love her very much and would never do anything to hurt her, but even though I knew this, I entered into a relationship with her. I am going to be honest here, I think I told her I was at least willing to go to the club but that might be all I can do! I am worried when the time comes, and we go to the club she might like what she sees and if I don't do it with her, she might end up leaving. I am feeling weird about this, because what if she likes what she sees and wants that life style after I go with her? Then i'm going to feel like it's my fault, I helped her leave me! I will say that I kind of think I said I would try to go with her to check it out, just to make her happy. I dont think i'm happy about me telling her that though, because that could turn out to be one big lie! Was I just trying to save a relationship based on lies I told her? I know if we make it over the next year or 2, she will bring it up that she's ready to go to the club and check it out!! Will I freeze up or will I go with her to appease her? Will I feel uncomfortable because she will want to explore this option more once we visit the club for the first time? I know, when I thought about someone else touching her, it makes me very sick to my stomach it made me feel like I was going to throw up!