My wife HATES me

My wife HATES me

Postby HatedinHouston » Sun Feb 01, 2009 9:33 am

Alright, let's give this a shot; what I've been trying up to now sure ain't working.

Married close to 15 years, with a 14 year old child.

Problem is as simple as this--my wife HATES me. Hardcore hate.

We've done counseling multiple times, Imago, etc.

I've never cheated on her, and don't have a drug or alcohol problem.

After taking a hard look at myself, I believe that my intentions are genuinely good. I want to be in this relationship.

The bottom line is, for most of our marriage I really had my head extremely far up my ass. Disorganized (ADD), job instability, emotional immaturity, assumptions about marriage ("Hey, you're my wife--where's the unconditional love?"). Seeing myself as a "good guy" but in the "real world" acting like a selfish, narcissistic jerk.

My wife is (justifiably) hurt and angry that she has had to suffer for so long. She is (justifiably) hurt and angry that her marriage, career, family-life isn't what she wanted it to be, nor what it could have been if I had gotten my act together sooner. I understand that.

The problem now is, she seems beyond dealing with me rationally. I'm on effective ADD meds; infinitely better than before. My job is stable and career taking off. I'm more reflective and responsible than ever. I accept that I've done an incredible amount of damage, and her hurt is justified. I know I need to work hard to fix things.

But this woman HATES me. At best, she can go for a little while treating me coldly, but with her obvious contempt just below the surface. More often, she can only spit out her disappointment and disgust. And with fair regularity, she explodes.

In a "perfect" world (heh), I'd just like some time. Time to show her I can deliver as a mature, responsible life partner.

The problem is handling her hatred in the interim. To be blunt, despite making commitments to myself, I don't seem able to emotionally handle her hatred.

It hurts, tremendously. I become defensive, try to eat it (because I know she's right, and arguing won't do any good), but I eventually can't. Then I say or do something hurtful back, make things worse, regret it, REPEAT.

Don't bother suggesting "talk to her about it." That option is closed for now. This woman isn't open to talking to me about anything, for the foreseeable future.

I am looking for very specific advice about how I can somehow tolerate the HATRED of the woman I love while still having the psychic energy to prove to her I can be an effective, trustworthy life partner.

I will gratefully consider any suggestions with a genuinely open heart, thx.
HatedinHouston
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 9:11 am

Postby Devoted » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:31 pm

Dear H in H, I am very sorry to hear of your situation and feel for you because I am experiencing a similar predicament. I, as you, have not given my wife anything to “hate” me for except that I did get lazy in our marriage and did not recognize the warning signs. After reading the good Doc’s book I have tried to make amends and for the most part I have seen a slight improvement. What has helped me was discovering another web site that is dedicated to the process of menopause. PowerSurge.com I have learned from this site that women can be affected by this process many years ahead of what is considered the average age of loosing their period. This Peri, or Pre menopause can, as you may read if you go there, really turn a women’s world upside down affecting almost every aspect of her life. What convinced me that my wife was being affected by this was not so much just her turning against me, but other changes in her/our life that couldn’t be explained. She not only turned against me but also family members on both sides, said for the first time ever that she was thinking about getting another type of job because she no longer likes her job, has been complaining all winter long how much she hates the winter and wants to move away from here. She has gained distaste for babies where in the past if someone had a newborn she always wanted to go see it and even strangers she would often ask to hold their child. No more. She has lost a bunch of weight almost effortlessly and is much more concerned with her looks than she has been in the past. Her sense of smell is superhuman, like when she was pregnant, and what she like to eat has changed a great deal, again similar to when she was pregnant. She has also rediscovered music and is a bit obsessed with it. It is almost like she is going through adolescence again with the nasty tongue, all about me, and competing with other women looks wise. Even her behavior towards our kids has changed where she says mean things to them, swears in front of them, and has pulled back from acting motherly.
The way this has helped me is to see on this other site women and men describing similar situations and how people deal with them and to try not to take it seriously. My wife is in denial about what is happening to her and I would be VERY careful if or how you might bring it up. It cost me dearly the one time I suggested it and she will have to figure it out herself.
So check it out and see if you recognize what is happening to you in any of the posts and hopefully you may find some comfort.
Devoted
Devoted
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 7:31 pm

Postby elizacol » Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:10 pm

I read somewhere that for every year in a marriage, it takes a month of healing. So, if you've been married 15 years, it will take (apx.) 15 months of hard-core effort to see results/improvements.

Anyway, whether that makes sense or is true or not...onto your sitch.

You can only live with the 'guilt' for so long. Yes, you may have done some things wrong in your marriage! Yes, they likely hurt her deeply.
So, you are now paying the price for it. How long does she expect you to do so? Is she still wanting to be married to you? If so, why is she acting the way she is (hateful)? Why doesn't she move on/out if she hates you?

What she does not realize is that the damage she now 'has' because of you, you are going to have similar damage, because of her actions. You've just switched places! And your marriage likely won't survive.

I don't know what the solution is, other than for you to continue 'doing the right thing'. Meaning, love her, treat her with respect, be a good husband, etc. At the same time, however, you need to step back. Detach yourself a little. Especially from her actions. Don't accept them. Doesn't mean you have to fight or argue. It simply means that you need to stand up for yourself. Tell her that YES, you were a jerk for much of your marriage (if that is true), but that you are NOW doing better and have been for ____ number of months. Don't be mean about it. Just state it matter of factly.

You have to be consistent in both areas....in being a solid husband and in standing up for yourself. Sure, you feel guilty. But, honestly, none of us are perfect. I'm sure she wasn't the 'perfect' wife, and there are things you could hold against her, but you don't. To do so is to destroy a marriage.

Ultimately, you cannot change her actions. You can only change and work on yourself. Continue being consistent, and if she is an adult capable of changing and forgiving, than things should work out. If not, then you can hold your head high, knowing you gave your all, that you changed/improved for the better. The fact that she didn't/won't/can't is out of your control.

I speak from experience, having been hurt by my H's own actions. I think I spent about a month in the 'hating' phase, but snapped out of it, learned to change my own behavior, and our marriage now is stronger than it has ever been. And...I did this before he, himself, began to change his behavior and actions. I decided not to worry about him, but instead to focus on my own behaviors. Lo and behold, it wasn't long before he saw my changes, and things began turning around.

Good luck to you!
elizacol
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:15 am

Postby panda65 » Tue Feb 02, 2010 3:51 am

I'm so glad I found this forum, if only to see that I am not alone in my situation. My wife and I have been married for 20 years. We are both 44 years old and have good jobs. The problem is that we do the same thing and work for competing companies. She is much better than me at keeping things separate. Recently I made the biggest mistake of my life (so far). My wife was being recognized for an professional award, but like an ass I could only get mad at her because it was a job that our company had bid on and lost. I am so embarrassed by this and how this has made her feel. The worst part is that, according to her, I apparently have been doing this for our entire marriage. I have always thought that I have been a good father and husband (4 kids) but now she has completely given up on me. I sleep in a different room.

I know it is my fault, but she does not seem to want to try to talk to me. It physically causes her to shake her head when I ask her how she is feeling or anything personal. She has told me not to expect anything from her any more.

I also have come to realize that over the years I have lost any close friends while she has been able to keep hers by going out for coffee when I am home with the kids after work or on weekends. All the while she says that I do not do anything to support her. She is involved with various boards etc. and I take care of the kids when she travels, sometimes for 2 or 3 days, but this is not considered support???!!! Her words are that I have destroyed her and she is not going to let me do it any more.

I have written her a note of apology and let her have some time and space.

I am willing to be patient. I don't know what else to do. I'm half hoping she or one of her friends will read this. Part of me writing this is to get it off my chest because I really do not have anyone I can confide in any more. I would also like to hear from wives who have been hurt - how long can I expect this silent treatment to last? It's driving me mad! The first night I considered killing myself, but cannot do it because it would be the cowardly thing to do, and she would just think it was an annoyance and hurtful to the kids. I honestly don't think she would care. She has told me many times before that they would survive just fine without me.
panda65
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 3:29 am

The long and winding road

Postby Scott Haltzman » Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:51 pm

Thanks for joining the forum, Panda. What you want, what many people (or at least those who live with someone who pronounces judgment on them, is slow to forgive, and exacts punishment for perceived offenses) want, is one of four things: 1) to be given an instruction sheet on how to do things "right," so as not to make any errors, 2) a spouse who is willing to forgive you for your inability to correctly anticipate and meet her needs or 3) a wife who is able to counterbalance harsh judgments with appreciation for your efforts or 4) not being married a person who pronounces judgment on them, is slow to forgive, and exacts punishment for perceived offenses in the first place!

#1 doesn't exist (but I wish it did!), #2 and 3 don't exist in your case (or so it seems) and #4 would lead to the dissolution of your marriage--not an action that would be in the best interest of you and your family. I think the key in this situation is to realize the perceived hurts take time to heal. There is research that shows that you must engage in 5 positives for every one negative interaction in order to sustain marriage. But the positive acts you do must be perceived by your wife as being positive for HER. Sometimes even after you fill her life with all kinds of positivity, all you can do is wait, and continue to be loving and attentive, and at some point she will feel like you are making her needs a priority. Then it may be time to open up a discussion about how to move forward.

N.B. Dr. Haltzman participates in this forum to foster discussion and provide commentary. Comments offered by Dr. Haltzman on this site do not represent medical diagnosis, advice or treatment.
Scott Haltzman
 
Posts: 163
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:30 pm
Location: Barrington, RI

Postby panda65 » Wed Feb 03, 2010 9:13 pm

Thanks for the encouraging words Dr. Scott. It's not easy to accept, but seeing that others are in the same waiting game somehow gives me hope. I can't help but think each time I try a positive that she is thinking I just want a quick fix. I'm travelling for work today, texted her that I was coming home early, and no response.

A few weeks ago I would have gotten mad for no response, but I know now that it would just push her away and justify her actions. And so I wait. We talk about how to get the kids around, logistics, small talk. Yes and no, very terse. I ask if she wants to talk more. Tense lips. "No". Definitely nothing about our relationship. Why is it that people who complain about a lack of communication are always the worst communicators? Again, normally I would have pressed, but now I quietly say thanks and leave her alone. I lay awake for hours in the basement, quitely hoping that she would come into the other room, just to talk. I don't want sex, just to talk, communicate.

I bring up one email that she did respond to. I read it over and over, like it's some kind of magic text, thinking that if she doesn't talk to me at least I have this piece of communication to cling to. Pathetic isn't it? It's hard watching other couples, happy people with babies. I used to wonder how people who loved each would drift apart when there wasn't another person or infidelity involed. Now I know.

Hopefully we survive this and I can help someone else someday.
panda65
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 3:29 am

Postby Devin Larkins » Wed May 05, 2010 11:25 am

I am in the same boat. I have been married for almost 5 years and I have a 2 year old daughter. I have ADHD and multiple other problems. I am lazy, an egostical jerk, can't keep a job, arguementive, liar ( I break promises I wanted to try and keep)and other lies. She says she hates me and cringes when i touch her. She also says that she doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I am lost and confused and am mad and sad because of my actions and behavior. Please can someone help me out.
Devin Larkins
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 3:22 am

Postby socialdistortion » Thu May 06, 2010 9:44 am

Dear Hated Husbands,

I admit I have there has been brief times in my own marriage when I truly felt ‘loathing’ for my spouse. Everything they did, everything they said, and every interaction they had annoyed me intensely. Insignificant meaningless comments and actions become the source of tension and arguments, everything seemed intentional.

But two things come to mind. First, at some point, for some reason she choose you over all others. She voluntarily took a vow in front of God and everyone she knows that she would spend her life with you. Something was working then. Instead of responding with defensiveness, try to show her the side of you that she fell in love with in the first place. Try to bring out the side of her that you fell in love with. Do this with the expectation that there could be a long term period of unresponsiveness to your efforts. It becomes hard to argue with someone who doesn’t argue back.

Second, I often listen to my female friends who are in ‘bad patches’ of their good marriages complain about their husbands. Sometimes the husband’s actions are truly inappropriate and I sympathize with them, but (way) more often they complain about truly insignificant actions that would not be an issue if the anger was not already present. Anger is truly a thick emotional fog that makes it impossible to move forward.

Finally I would like to propose my theory on intense anger in intimate relationships. Elie Wiesel, an author, holocaust survivor, and Nobel Peace Prize winner says, “"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.” Hatred toward someone shows there is still an intense emotional connection between two people. Anger is a heavy burden to carry, whether it is directed at you or directed toward someone else. Imagine loving someone who was completely indifferent to anything you did or said, someone who refused to respond in any way, and someone who had absolutely no emotional investment in you. As ignorant as this sounds, I think if there is still major hope to save your marriage despite claims that your wife hates you if are both still responding to each, still living with each other and still sharing your daily lives with one another.
socialdistortion
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:20 am

Postby ThunderHorse » Sun May 16, 2010 12:10 pm

A woman needs someone to listen to her. Chapter 4 of the Men's book

My job as a husband, I believe is to listen to my wife talk about whatever she wants to talk about, for at least 15 minutes per day. Sometimes my wife wants to talk to me about my bad habits. Sometimes my wife wants to talk about her feelings of unhappiness. Whatever she wants to talk about, I give cordial feedback, "I see," "Your feelings seem genuine" etc.

When the 15 minutes, or so is up, I ask her to summarize what she wants me to think about.

I should ask her, after 15 minutes of unpleasant listening, if she wouild like to talk about someting I might be intersted in hearing about. I should ask her if she wants to try to give me an explantion of my peraonal beliefs, challenges, efforts and endeavors?

If your wife cringes when you touch her, that means you have not chosen the right time to touch her, or you have not toched an acceptable spot. So try some other spot, some other time, till you get it rigth. I can usually touch my wife for about 3 seconds, most any place, any private time. Longer than 3 seconds takes some sequencing and planning.

ADHD people are not the only people who have bad habits, or who need to work on self-improvement. Laziness can be an advantage in providing an incentive for working smart. It is uaully better to work smart, than to work hard.

What is your plan for self-improvement?


..
ThunderHorse
 
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:10 pm

Postby ThunderHorse » Sun May 16, 2010 12:52 pm

Devin Larkins wrote:I am in the same boat. I have been married for almost 5 years and I have a 2 year old daughter. I have ADHD and multiple other problems. I am lazy, an egostical jerk, can't keep a job, arguementive, liar ( I break promises I wanted to try and keep)and other lies. She says she hates me and cringes when i touch her. She also says that she doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I am lost and confused and am mad and sad because of my actions and behavior. Please can someone help me out.



Could be your wife is being abusive? Have you read Suzette Elgin's Boring Baroqe response strategy to abuse?

Here are some reference threads on which I have posted Elgin's ideas on Abuse.

http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/phpB ... .php?t=492
ThunderHorse
 
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:10 pm

Postby socialdistortion » Tue May 18, 2010 8:18 am

Dear Devin,

You say, "I am in the same boat. I have been married for almost 5 years and I have a 2 year old daughter. I have ADHD and multiple other problems. I am lazy, an egostical jerk, can't keep a job, arguementive, liar ( I break promises I wanted to try and keep)and other lies. She says she hates me and cringes when i touch her. She also says that she doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I am lost and confused and am mad and sad because of my actions and behavior. Please can someone help me out."


My advice to you is to stop being a lazy egostical jerk, get a job and keep your promises...then maybe things will change.


Social Distortion
socialdistortion
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:20 am

Postby ThunderHorse » Thu May 20, 2010 3:21 am

Devin Larkins wrote:I am in the same boat. I have been married for almost 5 years and I have a 2 year old daughter. I have ADHD and multiple other problems. I am lazy, an egostical jerk, can't keep a job, arguementive, liar ( I break promises I wanted to try and keep)and other lies. She says she hates me and cringes when i touch her. She also says that she doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I am lost and confused and am mad and sad because of my actions and behavior. Please can someone help me out.


What support would you like form your wife? How are you asking for the support? How can you apprach your request for encouragment from yoru wife?

What makes it difficult for you to hold a job? What habit could you work on? Who can help you with support to make improvements in your habits?


..
ThunderHorse
 
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:10 pm

My perspective

Postby pastlove » Thu May 27, 2010 2:48 am

I am the angry wife. I'm angry because I had a preconceived notion that our marriage required both people to show up equally. Silly me. I thought my husband wanted to spend the rest of his life showing me in various ways and levels of passion that he loved me. When that didn't happen, I took it upon myself to try to make the marriage work for the both of us. I did all the cooking, most of the cleaning, worried about the finances, worked around his night work schedule while being a full time student and mom, and did the little things to show him how much he meant to me. Was there any reciprocation? Very little, and what little there was was of such poor quality it really shouldn't count. And yet, he would say that nothing he did was ever good enough for me. There should be some minimum standards for quality of effort.

Yes, we got married very early (20 for me and 26 for him) after I got pregnant. Before I got pregnant, we were 3 months into our second attempt at a relationship. The first attempt lasted almost 2 years. The breakup lasted for 3 months during which time he dated and had a "friend" that he saw and drove to and from work every day. He broke up with me because we fought too much even though he worked 2 jobs and was a early morning dj at a radio station. How he thought we had time to fignht is beyond me. Only years later did he admit that he broke up with me because of peer pressure. Apparently, guys have nothing better to do than discuss how demanding and absurb their girlfriends are. So much for the promise that we'd try to work out any problems before breaking up. Love how he wants me to keep that promise he had no problem breaking.

Fast forward 10.5 years of narcisistic tendencies and lousy physical and emotional intimacy. Through the years, I sent out warning signs by saying we're growing apart and don't have much in common besides our son. His response was that we should work on it. But he never met me half way. I had finally reached the point where I couldn't take anymore of his selfishness and lack of consideration. All I ever got were empty promises that he never attempted to live up to. In Nov 2009, I told him that he had one more year to show me how much this marriage meant to him or I was taking him off my health insurance. He made another promise to take this seriously and vowed to find a marriage counselor and put forth the effort this would require. He said he'd show up finally. Like a fool, I believed him.

Five months went by before I finally snapped and went off the deep end from his lack of action. He got the message and very quickly found a therapist. However, with that snap, I seemed to have lost the majority of my hope that this marriage could work. You see, there always had to be an ultimatum for him to change. It came down to him deciding if he wanted to be with his friend or me at the end of those 3 months. It came down to him ending his "friendship" with this girl or letting me meet her if they were just friends. It came down to him quitting being a dj after having a sexual harassment case at work because he was a dj and liked the attention from girls or me leaving. He couldn't recognize that his behavior was hurting me.

For the past few months, he's been making changes. But I fear it's too late. I don't have the desire to be with him physically or emotionally. Yes, I love him, but not enough to grow old with him like I used to. I fantasize about having my own place where my choices and actions don't have to accomodate him. I want it to be about me now.

And then there's the anger. I am seriously angry that he now wants to be the husband I needed him to be when I was naive and full of hope for our future. What was so wrong with me or our marriage that he couldn't show up back then? Why was it so impossible for him to make this change when I would have been more receptive? It infuriates me to no end that he thinks I shouldn't give up now after all that has happened because he's ready to show up. As if I'd just jump for joy. Um, right. Maybe if I hadn't hardened myself after all the disappointments, that might be possible. The woman he wants me to be isn't here anymore. She faded away years ago. I doubt I'd want her to come back. I'm way more self-sufficient than I ever was. He is definitely to thank for that. Cheers!

Besides the anger, there's the extreme sadness that I lost so much of myself trying to be the perfect wife, trying to keep him interested in me. I was afraid of being rejected and abandoned again. It became all about what I could do and not who I was. I used to be someone I liked. I used to have hope for the future. I had dreams of us growing together and planning our life. As long as we were together, love would be all we needed. I was wrong. A marriage requires a lot more than just love. Sometimes, I want to be the person I used to be. Sometimes, I want to fall into his arms and let him hold me. Sometimes, I want to show him that I can be a woman. But then I remember than when I did those things, I was rejected repeatedly.

After all these years, who am I? The pain, anger, and fear are such big parts of me. The pain made me afraid to hope for something different and better. That pain made me angry because I was in pain. How could someone who claimed to love me hurt me so much? But they helped me to survive. I was not strong enough to survive had I not put up walls when he treated me like I was a housemate with benefits. So, he's changing, but can I? And why is he changing? Not of his own choosing. It's because of the ultimatum. I wanted him to change because of his love and respect for me and us. Not the fear of failing at marriage, the inconvenience a divorce would bring, or even the fear of less time with our son. How sincere can his motives be if it took me saying that I'd finally had enough? There were 10 perfectly good years where he could have shown up and been the man he says he wants to be now.

Why now and not then? Why is it not OK for me to be angry and hurt for as long as it takes? And then there is the question he asks every now and then: can I ever let go of the anger? How the H should I know!! Like I said, the pain, anger, and fear are a major part of me now. Without these, who am I? Is there even anything worth loving in me anymore? Am I capable of love? I don't understand why he would want to be with me. According to him, I'm way too critical. I'm numb. I don't show him affection. I belittle him. I don't want him to touch me. I don't hang on his every word like I used to. Shoot, I don't even cook or clean anymore.

The past can't be undone or forgotten. Hearing and reading about people who survive difficulties and say their marriage is stronger than before must be crazy. Either that or I'm too jaded to believe that. How can one get past the fear of a repeat of past trangressions? How can I not fear that my husband will fall back into his old ways? Looking back at everything, it's hard to believe that the little bit of love and happiness we felt was worth the pain and negative changes I've undergone. The person that said it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all must never have been through a long-term relationship.
pastlove
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 1:31 am

Re: My perspective

Postby ThunderHorse » Fri May 28, 2010 6:47 pm

pastlove wrote:I am the angry wife.

Looking back at everything, it's hard to believe that the little bit of love and happiness we felt was worth the pain and negative changes I've undergone. The person that said it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all must never have been through a long-term relationship.


Congratulations on getting your husband's attention.

What esle would you like your husband to do or change?

Can you give some specifics, maybe several options, for him to pick one, to change'

Maybe by your husband making changes, he can give you the confidence that he can contitnue to make meaningful changes.

Are there any good qualities in your husband that you could praise, and give recognition? Can you try to overlook egotistical expressions?

It does not sound like your husband knows how to give unconditional listening.

Could that be a goal of counseling, better listening by your husband?

What other goals of counseling might come to mind?



;;;
ThunderHorse
 
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:10 pm

No Matter What I do it's wrong

Postby Lookingforhelp » Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:49 pm

I'm convinced my wife just hates me. I work out of the house and she works around 5 hours a day outside the house after 18 years of not working and raising the kids. I try my hardest to keep the house clean (I organize the kids chores when they have the time - 2 are in college and away and our son plays sports nearly year around). I pretty much take care of all transportation issues, clean the bathrooms, carpet, outside, repair anything that fails, the cars, etc. EVERYTHING I DO is completely wrong. I can't even dry dishes to her spec.

She bullies the kids and they frankly are starting to hate her and they come to me all the time after she goes on a yelling spree with them over really nothing. Opps they didn't make their bed or leave a few clothes around on a saturday in their room and the hammer falls.

There is no intimate world here. No support and frankly just complaints from her. I feel I could give her a million dollars and she would feel she didn't have enough to spend. It seems like her biggest pleasure and job is shopping - and most of it we don't need. There are so many clothes with tags on them - how could we pass up this price - and with 2 kids in school the dollars are tight. But that's my fault - despite a recession, I should be finding ways to bring in millions so we could buy more 'items we just can't pass up on at this price.'

I don't know what I can do - she is so self centered, but anytime I try to talk about it - I am the one who is self centered and can't do anything that is right in her eyes. Of course if she has a mistake - OPPS just a little transgression. I have a small transgression and it's a major crime. Dr Haltzman - I've been trying for 10 years to perhaps save a loving relationship that was once 'amazing.' At first I though it was menopause - but she is 4+ years beyond a menstrual cycle and it really seems to be getting worse. Some of it may be a recent struggle with dollars with 2 kids in college and a recession (I am self employed) but we have had enough to live on and have a great house and a pretty upscale lifestyle that with a bit of moderation through these trying times has the resources to keep us going - should it challenge our total relationship?
Lookingforhelp
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: United States

Next

Return to Making Your Spouse Happy

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

cron