by ThunderHorse » Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:19 pm
Pregnancy creates radical hormone changes in a woman. Since pregnancy is a sacred event, the facts are somewhat glorified. The reality is that estrogen, and probably other female hormone levels change during pregnancy. Three weeks ago is when she became pregnant. Hang on for a tough ride. If you bring the child into the world, your wife will than be more of a mother, than your wife. This will be a new challenge to face.
Try to be pleasant, but be ready to back off. Try to encourage your wife to develop a support structure of other people with whom she can vent and relate. I was clueless, and thought my wife was being deliberately manipulative in her occasional tirades when she was pregnant. I did not know that emotional outbursts were part of the pregnancy experience. I didn't even have any exit strategies in place to allow me to leave the home for the night.
If your wife is just being cold, you are lucky, so far. Educate your wife about the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy emotions, and make some plans of how to handle her sudden needs for time alone, or time away from your presence. As the husband, you will be blamed for everything imaginable. You will rarely see the woman you married, probably just occasional glimpses.
Try to listen for little opportunities to help her with little things she craves suddenly. Like go looking for Pistachio ice cream at 3 AM.
You may be better to delay starting a family, but it will be difficult to get advice that is balanced. Many religious people feel it is OK to be manipulative in family planning couinseling.
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