New here and desperate

New here and desperate

Postby Tyler » Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:27 pm

I've been with the woman of my dreams since Dec/09. In July she found I had been looking at online porn. Then I even lied about it. This is not how I am but I was very embarrassed. Since then I have not lied to her or looked at anything inappropriate. She felt like she was not what I was looking for but nothing could be farther from the truth. I love this woman with all I am and never knew love could be so strong. We usually make love 5-8 times a week. Even 5 times one weekend. Some time's it's difficult to want more sex after that.I dont often pursue sex and she feels like I do not desire her. Simply not true. I also have bad headaches that can sometimes kill an erection. I almost always have a bad headache after or during love making. She also feels like this is me not wanting intimacy. When we get along it's fantastic. But,she feels hurt and disgraced by thinking I do not desire her. I am getting help for my head but any other advise would be greatly appreciated. Also,she is planning on leaving me now. This is bad and I do not want her to go. I love her so much and I know she loves me. We need to fix this problem somehow quickly. I need to to know that I do indeed love & desire her.
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Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:29 pm

Re: New here and desperate

Postby ThunderHorse » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:40 am

Tyler wrote: We need to fix this problem somehow quickly. I need to to know that I do indeed love & desire her.

The men's secrets book devotes two chapters to listening skills.

Men sometimes make the mistake of trying to solve a problem, for which the woman was primarily venting, rather than seeking a solution.

It sounds like you have a rapport with your woman, and she will tell you things that bother her. You feel that her saying she wants to leave is a problem, but it may be a sign that she will share her inner-most thoughts with you, which is an important part of a relationship.

You say she says you don't desire her, but that may be a question, or a test for you, rather than a deeply held belief. You may be treating venting as a problem statement.

What are your respnses to her adverse statrements? can you give good listening skils? How is your blithering compliments for her? You mention a few compliments for her, but you should have more.

Here is a link to a thread on complments for wives ... .php?t=477

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