Am I doomed? Please. How can i get her to stop hating me?
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:04 pm
Okay here it goes.
I am 30 and she is 52.
I work and she doesn't but for years she supported us 100% of the time.
I moved from Canada and she is from the Philippines and on our very first date she told me of her 5 year plan to move back to her homeland after her 23 years in the USA.
After we fell in love she and I decided to be part of that plan together but after six years we are stuck and we have had so many bad fights that she tells me she hates me.
I try so hard but fail. Fail to clean up properly. To earn enough money (I'm strictly commission sales) failure to listen.
She and I don't communicate and when we do get along okay eventually she turns nasty and says she's remembering six years of my broken promises.
She tells me she saw so much in me and so did my uncle that brought me to the USA from Canada and that my time is running out.
I have no high school diploma and we have zero money to send me to school with. She is dead right that my potential has failed. I work promoting timeshare and have had like seven jobs in four years.
She worked so hard to carry me form so long I now desperately want to return the favor. It's hard to work when you want to cry. Especially sales.
I procrastinate because it all involves money. The car is broken (ac not working) and i put off fixing it because we are struggling to pay bills so much.
She won't work because she says she has zero motivation and now this December were going to the Philippines but indont think she wants to return. She keeps asking me "why did i return last summer from vacation?" and I can't answer her at all.
If I had about $20,000 saved I would just not return home one day so she would be happy finally.
That's all I really want but when it seems we are okay she just starts yelling again when the tiniest thing happens.
I feel like drinking just about every single day now. That's very disfunctional. I have zero addictions but alcoholism is a common thread in my family.
I can't even work because all I can think is that if i don't make $150 that day i have failed us again.
This seems so... Unfixable.
What can I do. Please help me.
I am 30 and she is 52.
I work and she doesn't but for years she supported us 100% of the time.
I moved from Canada and she is from the Philippines and on our very first date she told me of her 5 year plan to move back to her homeland after her 23 years in the USA.
After we fell in love she and I decided to be part of that plan together but after six years we are stuck and we have had so many bad fights that she tells me she hates me.
I try so hard but fail. Fail to clean up properly. To earn enough money (I'm strictly commission sales) failure to listen.
She and I don't communicate and when we do get along okay eventually she turns nasty and says she's remembering six years of my broken promises.
She tells me she saw so much in me and so did my uncle that brought me to the USA from Canada and that my time is running out.
I have no high school diploma and we have zero money to send me to school with. She is dead right that my potential has failed. I work promoting timeshare and have had like seven jobs in four years.
She worked so hard to carry me form so long I now desperately want to return the favor. It's hard to work when you want to cry. Especially sales.
I procrastinate because it all involves money. The car is broken (ac not working) and i put off fixing it because we are struggling to pay bills so much.
She won't work because she says she has zero motivation and now this December were going to the Philippines but indont think she wants to return. She keeps asking me "why did i return last summer from vacation?" and I can't answer her at all.
If I had about $20,000 saved I would just not return home one day so she would be happy finally.
That's all I really want but when it seems we are okay she just starts yelling again when the tiniest thing happens.
I feel like drinking just about every single day now. That's very disfunctional. I have zero addictions but alcoholism is a common thread in my family.
I can't even work because all I can think is that if i don't make $150 that day i have failed us again.
This seems so... Unfixable.
What can I do. Please help me.