by barwitch » Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:47 pm
Dear Married and Trying Hard,
Why do you feel that you and your wife will have an uneventful life until death do you part? What
are the problems in your marriage right now that you feel would lead to this life? How long have to two
of you been married? Is either of you boring people and had a boring courtship that would lead you to
believe that the rest of your life will be boring? You ask for suggestions but don’t let us know what your
biggest fears are.
You need to make marriage your #1 job! Just as you would with work you need to participate in long
range planning and active listening to your partner. The number one goal in marriage is to make your
spouse happy. Tell your wife what makes you happy; let her see the world through your eyes. Then, do
the same with her. Get to really know each other’s likes, what makes the two of you truly happy and
then build a wonderful, eventful life from those things. Do the little things in life that she likes and make
her happy, don’t forget them!
After taking that time, build off of those things to add a little bit of excitement to everyday life. If she
likes flowers, plant her a garden of her favorite flowers, then that is there for the two of you to enjoy for
a long time. Your wife will then in turn try to do little things that please you and make you happy. It’s
not about skydiving and going for hot air balloon rides every day, that stuff is for the movies!!! It’s the
little things in life that will build to one big happy adventure.
Try giving Dr. Scott’s “The Secret of Happily Married Men,” and see if that helps. Good luck!