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I need to know if I'm doing the right thing.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 11:40 pm
by Deadinside101
Before I start, I'm a not a good person and I'm not going to bad mouth my wife. I'm going to talk about exactly how things are going both ways.

I'm a young male in a my 20s I've been married 2 years to a woman that was my best friend. Now here is the problem.

I've got married to keep my wife along with my job, (Job pays extras for spouse and I wanted her to travel with me.) My old job was very stressful I figured having her around would have been a good thing, she kept pushing the issues before she used her own money to come to where I was working. . The relationship took a down turn before she even arrived, we got into a huge breach of trust over something dealing with my sexuality. I couldn't get over it and since the problems kept piling on the resentment grew. I'm a little bit of a sexually charged person but each problem we kept dealing with was sexual or affection based on her end (you aren't affectionate anymore.) or (You don't want to do anything anymore.)

When she knew me as a friend I was very sexual to both genders and very flirtatious, that was how we became friends but afterward even with our marriage starting off as an open relationship (Big mistake.) After all the BS of her being upset about it I called the thing off for her sake and mine. I don't do anything with anyone, her nervousness about me leaving made me distance myself from all my friend (My friend usually double as sexual partners.) I got very bitter and still even with that I kept trying to be in her corner, I don't get much alone time, I lost my job both partly her fault and partly mine.

I hate my marriage, I've told her as much. I feel like I'm in a cage I was an outgoing friendly person and now I'm just a bitter nihilistic person. My sex drive when it comes to her is less than zero, I don't feel at my sexual peak anymore I feel like it is a chore. I've gained hundred pounds after losing my job, I've not gained a single thing in this marriage and now I'm left poor, living with her family (Who she demanded we go with over mine who would be supportive of my college attempt (I get paid to go to college as a former military member) to take care of a sickly woman who doesn't even want us around.)

Honestly I hate were my life is going and I'm very bitter to my wife. I don't hate her (I'm very close to that point) but I have to remember that at one point she is was my friend. I want to break it off every day but I'm too poor to even afford a divorce but I don't know what to do. I hate being married, I hate that fact that had I never met this woman I would probably not be on this site looking for help for a crappy marriage that turn into a crappy life.

I'm sticking with it just outta loyalty to a dead friendship and I still don't know if its the right thing.

Re: I need to know if I'm doing the right thing.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 5:33 pm
by ThunderHorse
Are you able to apply yourself to your college studies? How could you do better in college? Any free tutors available?

Do you have a job in mind that could restore some self-respect?

What is it about your marriage that causes you to feel limited?

Perhaps as you lspend more time with your wife, you will will want to be faithful to her.

What can you enjoy about your wife?

What have you tried in terms of losing weight?

What can your wife do now, to make you more happy?

What aproaches are available for you to become a better husband?

Are you listening to your wife vent her feelings for 15 Min per day?