My husband (we are not legally married but referr to each other as such) told me that he has not fully committed to be because his exwife leaving him 6 years ago hurt so bad that he has never fully let me in because he is scared of the same thig happening again. Before he told me this, he would regularly tell me a lot when I had a problem or feeling he didn't like "there's the door" or "no one is holding a gun to your head", things like that and just dismiss anything I wanted a resolution to.
He has a son with his exwife and I have a daughter with my ex husband. We now have a three year old son together. My daughter is 9 and she lives with us.
He works long hours about half of the week and stays out of town, when he doesn't he usually isn't home until 6 or 7 and has to leave most mornings by 5 am. Although, just about half of every Saturdays and all Sundays he is home.
We argue about stupid stuff. Who will put the kids down, if I don't want to take the kids to the grocery store, things like that. He makes rude comments about other guys, me cheating smartalic stuff. I always recepricate with I have never, I don't even have guy friends, if I wanted my ex I wouldn't have left. And ask him why he says things like that when I give him no reason. He says so he is prepared for it when it does.
When he wants bedroom time... I always fulfill what he wants 9/10 times. Although when I want bedroom time 9/10 times he says he's tired or something. It makes me think he doesn't want me. He doesn't care about what I feel and says I'm wrong to have my feelings hurt or be upset.
The night after he told me about him gettin hurt and not wanting to feel that way again. I had told him I had enough why are you like this. Then we talked some and he acted caring and I actually felt truely loved. But what do I do. He is looking for ways to fix it and says he wants to actually get married and wants to commit but he doesn't know how or something. For about four days things were better he was tying and then it stopped yesterday evening. How do I not feel hurt because he doesn't love me like I love him even if he is trying and how do I help him. How do we not yell or call names when we get mad or blame each other I have read several books and we are just 28 and 29. Please help!!!